Six More Weeks of Winter?

Five years ago today, J-man was born.  The high that day was -10 F below zero.  It was Groundhog's day.  Clearly, when Mr Groundhog poked his head out and saw it was -10 below zero, he turned his furry butt around and said "c-ya in six weeks, suckers!"  Every year since, Mr Groundhog has poked his head out, gave the skies an evil eye, and high-tailed it back underground for six more weeks of winter.  Withdrawing and hibernating in his little cave.

According to the folks in Pennsylvania, Mr Groundhog did the about face again today.  Six more weeks of winter.

But I beg to differ, Phil.  I feel spring in our air.  I see J-man starting to bloom.  I think our winter is nearly over and we are going to be seeing the sun.  So go hide in your hole, Phil, if you need to.

We are emerging.

And for those who Doubted ...

... I present to you....

J-man reads "There's a Mouse in the House"





See.  I wasn't crazy or delusional.  Do NOT underestimate the J-man.

Channeling Michael Jackson

The other day J-man did something that was completely new for us. 

He came running to me to show me his "owie". 

Now, by "owie" I don't mean a real, honest-to-goodness injury that would leave a child bleeding and crying.  No, this was that tiny-scratch-you-can-barely-see kind of owie. He came running to me... genuinely concerned... wanting kisses and comfort and a solution to this microscopic gaping wound. 

I offered a band-aid.

I offered a band-aid knowing that J-man hates band-aids.  Always has.  Other children might be covered with band-aids from head-to-toe, but J-man wants nothing to do with them. (Note:  This is from the kid who did THIS.)  But hey... what else could I possibly offer?   Dermabond?  An ER visit? 

So I offered a band-aid.  And he said yes. He said yes as he "fake cried" his way to the bathroom with me in search of said band-aid. Being fairly shocked and somewhat skeptical, I found a small band-aid in the first aid kit and offered to put in on the "owie".  It was then J-man realized that no, he really didn't want a band-aid because he hates band-aids. 

"No ban-ai!  No ban-ai!"  he shouted at the top of his lungs.  He looked perplexed for a moment, and then came up with a fairly genius solution.  He said, emphatically, "loves!"

Huh?

As he chanted this word in an ever-escalating panicked voice, I tried to decipher what he was saying.  And then it hit me....

Gloves.

Holy Crap.  He wants to wear gloves to protect his 'injured' hand.  HOLY CRAP!!

Allow me to note at this time that J-man has never, ever worn gloves.  Period.  Lucky for me I had just purchased a set of small boys gloves and so we got them and put them on.  And he kept the glove on.  All day.  All night.  All the next day.  He wore it to eat.  He wore it to sleep.  He wore it to our Halloween Party and Trick or Treating. 

Two days later, the glove is finally gone.  And the wound is healed.  That, my friends, is alternative medicine.

The Glove
(Ignore the chunky witch next to J-man)

Manipulation, thy name is J-man

Tonight, like most nights, I put J-man down for bed. 

I crawled in with him and read him two stories.  Okay, in truth, it was the same story twice:  Going Bananas (a Super Friends book).  But only because he wanted it twice.  Now, J-man has developed this quirky habit of bringing one of his toys (or sometimes several of them) to bed with him.  And not the plush, snugly kind.  Nope... hard toys like airplanes, evil robots, or pirate boats.  Tonight was no exception, with his large WWII Imaginix warplane in hand.  After the second reading of Going Bananas, I promptly declared "nigh-night" and turned the light off.  Most nights I lay with him for a while to get him settled.

And (as is his new habit) J-man promptly grabbed my hand, lead it toward the light, and said "Light on?!"

"No no... light off.  Nigh-night", I replied (as I do every night).

We do this a few times and then he quiets down and (I believe) starts to fall asleep.  Ten minutes go by, and just as I am about to leave, J-man turns over, grabs my hand again and says "Tory??"

'Tory?'  I wonder.  What the heck is he talking about?  He repeats it several times and leads my hand (again) to the light.  And suddenly it dawns on me:  Story! 

Are you telling me he is asking for another story???  Are you serious??  So I turned the light on and said "Do you want another story???"  He said 'tory" again and I picked up another book and started to read (this time, Thomas the Tank Engine)...

... and I was promptly ignored as he started to play with his airplane.

Sucker!!

The little bugger KNEW that if he asked for another story I would turn the light on.  Manipulative little bugger!  Clever, too.

J-man's Attempt at Persuasion

I might be in the running for the meanest mom in the world.

Yesterday was J-man's 4th birthday, and how did we celebrate?

A trip to the doctor's office, of course.

Yep, meanest mom in the world.

J-man and I have been sharing a cold since Christmas (I swear, it's true). Last week mine settled in my chest and brewed into a full-on bout of bronchitis. And of course, it was J-man's turn. So after a (crabby) speech session and lunchtime pizza at his favorite pizza place, I whisked J-man off to our pediatrician

As we pulled into the parking lot, J-man started to cry. "No no no" he called out.

I told him, "No owies... don't worry... no owies!"

He did not believe me.

Crying, he said, "Ar-get??" (Target)

"No honey, later... after doctor." I said.

As I carried him into the building he asked (still crying) "P-izza?".

"No honey, we just had pizza" I told him. Ugh, for any other event we'd have been out of there. But he clearly was sick and needed some antibiotics.

In the elevator, still crying, he pleaded "C-ar? C-ar?", adding the sign for maximal effect.

Heart is breaking here people. Breaking!

In the office, "Go bye-bye, gooo bye byeee".

In the room, still crying, he passes me his coat over and over, hoping I will put it on.  I manage to distract him a little with finger bowling on my phone, but it doesn't last. The doctor comes in, takes on good listen of his chest, and we are on our way with a script in hand. As we left, tears all gone, J-man says to the doctor, "Bye Bye!". And we left calmly and happily... on our way to Target.

Aside from the fact that I felt like Mommy Dearest on the way in, I was also heartily impressed at all the verbal attempts he made to make his wishes know. He tried multiple techniques, different options, and persisted even when mommy said no. He used spontaneous verbalizations. And he did it all while he was in a serious state of unrest.

And yes, he did get a toy at Target.

I am not beneath bribing J-man for his love.

A Story in Three Parts

Part one, as relayed to me by my husband

Today, my hubby picked J-man up at preschool.  As is often their habit, he swung into the drive-thru to grab dinner on the way home.  When they left the drive-thru, J-man called from the backseat,

'ar-get??"  J-man said, reaching forward. He said it again, reaching toward my husband with serious intent.  My hubby, always a softy for the J-man's desires, turned the car around and drove to the Target down the road. 

When they arrived, my husband went around to get J-man out of his carseat.  Upon doing so, J-man lunged toward the front seat, repeating over and over "ug-get, ug-get".

J-man did not want to go to Target.

J-man wanted a chicken nugget.

Part two: The OT evaluation

Yesterday we took J-man for an OT evaluation.  We have taken an "OT break" over the past year, and recently decided to start it up again.  We found a place that had similar philosophies as us, and we were visiting for the first time.

When we arrived, the director gave us a tour. The clinic is.. in a word... awesome.  I wished I was a kid again.  There are multiple gym rooms with swings, mats, toys of every kind.  There is a blacklight room, with stars on the ceiling and big floppy cushions.  They have a POOL for aquatic therapy.  It was a child's dream playland come true. J-man was nearly giddy with excitement.

And that tour, my friends, was a singular mistake.  Because once you have been in the candy store, you just don't want broccoli.

The evaluation took place in one of the many gym-like treatment rooms.  There were plenty of toys, all well out of reach, to just tease the J-man.  And clearly, doing the standardized testing they wanted to do was soooooo not what J-man wanted to do.  The temper tantrum was fairly fierce. 

Abandoning any hopes of formal testing, the evaluator tried to get J-man to play with some of the equipment.  But by this time, he had reached Defcon 4 of Crabby.  Eventually, he requested a ball, and they went into the next room to get one.  When they got back, J-man was still unsatisfied.  He came up to me and said over and over "be-ball, be-ball".  He signed ball, over and over.  We showed him the balls that had been brought in, but he still looked at me with these pleading eyes... "be-ball, be-ball".

The visit was something of a total disaster.

As I lay in bed that evening and went over the events of the day, I suddenly had a flash of insight.  I recalled that on one toy shelf, toward the top, there was a toy basketball hoop.

Be-Ball.  Basketball.  He wanted the basketball hoop to go with the ball.

Part three:  The Transition

J-man transitioned from the young preschool room to the older preschool room this week.

It was a day I had been secretly... or not so secretly... dreading.  I feared.  What if J-man couldn't handle the transition?  What if he couldn't leave his beloved teachers?  What if the couldn't keep up with the demands of the other room?  So much doubt has been spoon-fed to us recently (and you know who you are), that I was on pins and needles. 

J-man rocked it. 

From all reports, he was in bliss to be in the new room.  Everyone... and I mean EVERYONE... was shocked at how well he did.  I received an email today from the Director of the center with this simple message in the subject line:  J-man is having a GREAT day in the FISH room... with this picture attached:

When I picked him up on the first day of the transition, I had an opportunity to talk to his new teacher, Miss H.  She was glowing.  She told me that when J-man came over, the other children were full of questions.  She introduced him to the class and reminded them that they had all been classmates before, and that he was moving into their room now.  She told me that several of the children said "Oh YEAH, I remember J-man.  He is my friend", and there were several volunteers to be J-man's "buddy for the day" to help him learn about the classroom and the toys.  It seems that the children welcomed him with open arms.

To them, he isn't disabled.  He isn't "defective" or "wrong" or "delayed".  He isn't one big, fat negative... a never-will... a can't do.  He isn't "other".  How the adults in his life fail him, time and time again, and yet these children just open their arms and accept. Today, he is their friend.

To them, he is just J-man.  Perfect as he is. 

******************************

I am not sure what I am trying to say with these stories.  I have been thinking a lot lately about our issues with the school district, of the choices we are making and the decisions that others have made.  I have been trying to read the tea-leaves of the future, to try and anticipate what our next, best move is.  As he now moves into his new room, I still fear.   I still wish that he could have more support, so that when he tries so desperately to communicate, someone would be there to hear.  To understand.  To be his bridge. 

But maybe I, too, underestimate him.

Maybe he will just be his own bridge.

Proudly Flying Those Green Flags!

Don't hate, my Vikings friends.
I gotta have some team to cheer for!
Go Pack Go!

Ok, I am a Vikings fan... sadly... but my Number 2 team is the Packers.  So here is hoping they make it to the Big One.

Regardless of whether or not the Packers go all the way, it doesn't matter.  We are flying some pretty big Green Flags in this house.  But these are Green Flags a la Jman. 

Increased Imitation: Check
Increased Turn Taking: Check
Increased Communication: Check
Increased Shared Enjoyment: Check Check
Increased and more effective vocalizations:  Check Check Check

Today, we played "Buzz Lightyear Kicks a Stormtroopers Booty", "Spiderman and Batman Crash Cars", and had our own Wrestlemania session.  Long, sustained, appropriate interactive play.  Last week, J-man blew us away at speech therapy with his engagement, his requesting, his reciprocal play, his shared enjoyment and giant smile, and his willingness to even work on articulation tasks while in the midst of his play.  His vocal attempts at communication are off the chart... intelligibility very slowly increasing... but let's face it:  It is still a 50/50 deal.

Of course, there is also an uptick in frustration and temper tantrums.  And he isn't too fond of the limit setting I have started to enforce hardcore.   But doesn't that go with the territory?  In fact, I think that also deserves a Check!

"Where's Spot?"

A few weeks ago I was listening to a show on NPR in which they were discussing films and film-making, and I remember thinking, "Wow, if I could do it all again, it sure would be cool to be a film director.  Make these great stories, think about storytelling frame by frame, setting tone, etc etc.  How fun would that be??!"

However, as you can see from the video below, I will not be quitting my day job.  In my defense, however, this video was taken with my Samsung Moment phone via its' digital camcorder, propped with a  'phone holder' made of Trio blocks on a stack of books on J-man's nightstand.   So clearly I was lucky to get even this....

I wanted to capture one of J-man's best moments, and bedtime stories are quickly becoming that time.  We are reading a new book, "Where's Spot?", a flip-book with hidden animals under the flaps.  J-man thinks the flaps are like doors... as you will hear!




Ding Dong!!!

A Christmas Story

I have had a little bit of writer's block.  Or is it blogger's block?

Anyhoo...

So much has been happening, ranging from ugly viruses to Christmas holidays to work to everything J-man, that where to start and what to say has alluded me.  And to be honest, it still does.  So, in order to break this log-jam, I will just start with a little Christmas story.

We didn't know how Christmas would go this year.

Last year, J-man really didn't get the concept of presents.  And Santa??  Who is that??  And while it was clear that this year he could identify Santa, I was pretty sure he didn't get the concept of Santa. What I wondered, though, was would J-man finally understand the concept of presents?  That they aren't just pretty colored boxes under a tree, but that inside the package was toys? 

J-man totally has the concept of toys.  Daily we are bombarded with requests to go to 'Arget' for 'oys'.  Every Day.  His love of toys... especially new toys... has reached epic levels to wit we must nip in the bud lest we become financially insolvent.  So I suspected that once he opened one or two presents he would get the concept pretty quickly.

And he did.  By present #3.  And he could have stopped... at present #3.  Allow me to introduce...  

Mooooooooon  Baaaaase



J-man, Cousin A-man, and the MOOOON BAAASE
One of the few moments of interactive play between the boys.
Mostly, they fought over it.

Over the last few months J-man has become quite devoted to looking at toy catalogs.  Quite devoted.  Like reading a book, he would look through the pages, point to toys and want me to label them.  His favorite, by far, was this Alien Moon Base and Rocket.  So we took a chance... Grandma got the Moon Base and I got the Rocket.... and hoped that his devotion to the picture in the catalog would translate to toy-love at Christmas.
We had him at Mooooon Baaase. 

His eyes were huge, people.  HUGE.  He insisted on opening it immediately, and from that point onward all other presents took a back seat to his Moooon Baaase.  He wanted to make extra sure we knew what it was.  He was very... VERY.. possessive of it.  Many a battle was waged between J-man and A-man over playing with the Moon Base and Rocket.  Sharing is not easy at Christmas. (How ironic)

But other than the occasional toy battle, J-man shone bright.  He cuddled with 'Papa'. He went sledding for the first time with us. He was fully engaged in decorating the gingerbread house with 'Mumu' and A-man, putting candy pieces on the roof.

It was a charming, beautiful Christmas.

The best Christmas present I could ask for.

A Conversation at Bedtime

Yes, you read correctly.  A conversation. 

The scene: J-man playing with my iPad, doing the Starfall app.  (By the way, he can do memory matching games.  Who knew...?)

Mommy says, "Ok buddy, bedtime in five minutes." 

J-man looks up from the game and shoots me a disgusted look.

J-man says, "Noooooo."

"Oh yeah, buddy.... five minutes." I repeat.

J-man sighs.  He looks me straight in the eye and commands, "Smiiiile!"

Apparently, if I am smiling and happy, he doesn't have to go to bed.  Probably worked.  He got another 10 minutes out of me.

Boys Will Be Boys

Really, believe me.... we don't promote violence.  Really. 

But... well... somehow, boys just know how to be boys....

This video was shot at my birthday party last week.  The "battle" began spontaneously between my nephew A-man (the blond) and my J-man (shorter and not so blond), and after a minute of completely normal, appropriate boy battling with the very safe foam swords, I just had to try and capture the beauty.  They loved it. I loved it. 




I think I see some pretty good interaction and turn taking going on. What do you think?  Oh, and although you can't hear it, J-man followed some "encouraging instructions" from the sidelines.  The Cops and Robbers soundtrack provided for your pleasure (and to protect the bad influences.. ahem...lets just leave it at that).

J-man has really taken a keen interest in his cousin, which is just flippin wonderful.  A-man is a little older (5) and filled with energy and great ideas, and J-man definitely is paying attention.  As I have always known he does.

But really.... believe me.... we don't necessarily condone violence...  but what is a little foam swordplay between cousins?

My Birthmas Present

I turn 40 on Wednesday. 

Forty.

4-Teeeee.

*sigh*

Anyhow, the greatest Hubby in the world and the greatest Grandma-Mumu  & Grandpa-Papa in the world got together and got me the coolest gift ever!

Yes, my very own iPad!

I had a hard week so they revealed it a little early.  I have been jonesing for an iPad for quite a while.  It just has so many cool features that we can totally use around here... surf the web from the couch, watch movies on a long car ride, play games, etc etc.  Yes, it is a toy.  But, to be honest, I don't have a lot of toys. Also, the iPad also offers A LOT for kids with special needs like my little J-man.  Shannon Des Roches Rosa and Robert Rummel-Hudson offer a great commentary on the impact of the iPad for kids with special needs.

So it is a toy I can feel pretty good about all around.  It is for me AND the J-man.  Guilt assuaged.

That is, if he could figure out how to use it..... Hmmmmm

J-man has shown limited interest in the computer up until now.  Recently he discovered the joys of YouTube, but just enjoyed watching and didn't show interest in trying to use the computer in any other way.  The idea of the mouse alluded him.  He just wasn't ready which is ok because he is only three and a half.

But what about the iPad? 

Allow me to present J-man's iPad skills. 

Game One:  My First Word



In this game, he moves jumbled letters on top of each letter in the word.  When the word is done, the graphic of the word "dances"

Game Two:  Talking Santa



A pure game.  You hit buttons to have Santa do different things (or have things happen to Santa).  Try to ignore the sociopathic joy he gets from assaulting Santa with a snowball, and notice how he follows my directions and shows shared enjoyment. 

At this point I have owned it about 12 hours. 

J-man's time to learn it:  5 minutes.

Persistence

I thought I might do another SNBH.  This Week's Theme:  What is a recent accomplishment that your child has made?

Anyone who follows me regularly knows the strides J-man has made recently.  I view most of his daily strides as major accomplishments, but I decided yesterday's story was worthy of this topic.
**************************************************************

The "guys"

I was parked at the kitchen table working on one of my least-favorite chores:  paying the bills. (Anyone with me on this one?)  J-man comes running into the kitchen and grabs my hand, pulling me out of the chair and into the dining area.  In his hand he was clutching three of his "guys":  Superman, Batman, and the Joker.(He loves his guys)  He looked me directly in the eye with this urgent need in his expression. 

J-man said to me, " aAAh iIm!"

aAAh iIm??  What the....?

"What honey?" I said.

" aAAh iIm!"  he said again, insistently.  Clutching his 'guys' in his hands, J-man rubbed his fists up and down on his chest, trying to sign what he was saying.  "aAAh iIm!"

I imitated his sounds and sign, showing him I was hearing him.

"I'm sorry hon. I don't understand" I said regretfully.

But he persisted trying to get me to understand.  He didn't quit.  He signed.  He forced his words out, even though his mommy didn't understand.  He hung in there.

I watched him, as frustrated as he was, looking for any clue that might help me figure out what he was trying to tell me.  I watched his signing, listened to his words, and looked at his hands clutching his 'guys'. And suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks...

"Bath time?!?!"  I asked excitedly.  He glowed with relief and excitement, "aAAh iIm!" with the sign for bath.

Persistence.

Some time ago J-man went through a spurt of avoiding bath time.  He just wanted to play, and bath was just a rude interruption.  At that time, we decided to try and make a game of it by putting his "guys" (and he has a lot of guys) on different stairs going up to the second level bathroom, and then had him gathering them as he went up the stairs to the throw his 'guys' into the 'pool' (bath) to go swimming.  And he took to this like a fish to water (hehehe) and it has become a routine ever since.  His guys get a bath.  His guys go swimming, get washed and dried.  He has once again embraced bath time.

How fundamentally frustrating it must be for J-man.  To have these thoughts, these ideas, these words, stuck in his mind and in his throat.  To know that communication is important, to know that he can't do it well, and to know that we adults may... no, probably... miss what he is trying to say.  How does a three year old cope with that?

And yet, he persisted.  He persisted in spite of the fact I didn't understand, in spite of his best efforts, in spite of how very hard it was for him.  Yes, this time his Mommy figured it out, but in his world that is probably the exception more than the rule.  And still...

He persisted.

************************************************

Tataway!

A scene from our day:

J-man brings me his coat and thrusts it into my hands. Now, when J-man brings me his coat that generally means he is bored and wants to go somewhere. 

So I said,  "You want to go?"

He said, "Goooo.   Caar!"  He signed it, just to make sure I got it.

I said "Okay, we can go. Where?"

J-man remained silent as he put his coat on.  I told him to get his shoes and socks, which he did.  As I was putting them on I asked him again, "Where go?"

He just looked at me and smiled. 

"Go Ice Cream?"I said. (This is the usual place we go when we need to Go)

"Nooooo" said J-man.

"Go park?", I said. (Oh please oh please please, not the park.  It is 20 degrees outside.)

"Nooooo", he said again, emphatically, with a slightly annoyed look on his face.  Really, Mommy, the park?  It is 20 degrees outside.

And then it dawned on me. 

"Target?"  I said.

"Ar-get??  Arr-get!!", he crowed.

"You want Toys?" I asked.

"Oys Oys Oys!!!" he exclaimed, grinning ear to ear.  Bouncing up and down. Fully satisfied at his ability to make his wishes known.

And off we went to Target.  When we arrived and settled with cart in hand, I asked, "Where go?"

"Tataway", he pointed emphatically toward the general area of the Toy aisle.  We meandered 'tataway'.  I took a (purposeful) wrong turn.  He grabs my hand and points again, "Go tataway!!  Oys!!".

I may have lost my way a few more times (ahem), but we eventually made it to the Toy aisle.  J-man directs me from lane to lane, carefully examining the toys.    I said "Small toy buddy", hoping it means something to him because let's face it, I don't wanna spend $50 on the Imaginex Dragon Castle, even though I know he has eyed it before.  But lucky for Mommy's pocketbook, he was content with a Playmobile Knight. 

And this scene, dear readers, would have never ever ever happened a few months ago.

Every few months I have this uncanny ability to totally panic.  It occurs to me that we aren't doing enough, or the right things, or enough of the right things.  I make calls.  I peruse the Internet examining my options for therapies or new techniques or some other new information that might help.  I worry and sweat and get myself all twisted up. 

And then J-man sets me back on course.

"Tataway!"

EE Ru EEEee

Happy Halloween Everyone!!

Ok, the day after.  But I have to tell you all about our Halloween night. 

So, as noted in the previous post, J-man had a choice between being Superman or Spiderman.  Now these options were picked by me because a) they were easy, b) they were cute, and c) they were easy.  I knew that J-man didn't really get the concept of Halloween, so I figured he wouldn't care.

Oh silly Mommy, how wrong you are.

The day before Halloween, we made a trek to Target for Halloween candy...thus guaranteeing that it would only be in my house for 24 hours before the big event and decreasing the likelihood of it ending up on my thighs (I failed, by the way.).  Once there, J-man took charge, commanding me to go "Tat Way" until I wove my way to the costume area.  Amongst the sea of sadly picked-over costumes, J-man found his Holy Grail:

Dash from The Incredibles

Sucker!!!

So, we were set for the Big Event.  Our neighborhood is CRAZY for Trick-or-Treating.  Some family several blocks away runs a hayride through the neighborhood, bringing kids from one area to another.  There can be 10+ kids on a trailer and as they arrive at our circle, they swarm like angry bees, running from one house to the next.  The neighbors go crazy with the decorations, from cute to spooky.  It is a Big Event here. 

Frankly, I didn't know how this would go.  He woke up from a late nap in a foul mood, which didn't bode well for the festivities.  But we donned the Dash costume and headed out, fully expecting to do maybe three houses before he had enough.



Spooooooky

Oh silly Mommy...

He LOVED it.  The first house was a bit scary because he had no idea what was going on.  There were kids everywhere dressed in costumes and running around, and he was a little intimidated.  But he really caught on quickly to what to do:  Ring the doorbell, hold out your bucket, and say Trick-or-Treat. 

Or as J-man says it:  EEE Ru EEEeee

Which he DID!!  Over and over again!  We must have done 15+ houses before we called it a night.  J-man would have kept going too!  My hubby and I were very pleased, and very surprised.  But I shouldn't have been... 

J-man is going to show us all!

Hodge Podge of Goodness

It has been a little while since I have had a deep, insightful, well-articulated post full of inspiration, or outrage, or quiet contemplation. 

And it is gonna be a while longer, because that ain't for today.

Today is a Brag Fest, an opportunity for me to just go on and on about how excited and proud I am of my J-man.  To tell you all the little things that he is doing that, when added together, feel like really big things.

Books

I'll start with books.  As you may remember from eons past, I have been woeful of J-man's complete lack of interest in anything book-like.  Not only does reading books with your child promote literacy and a love of learning, it also is an excellent joint attention and social communication event, and the fact that J-man had zero interest in it made me sad.

And dare I say it.... I think those days are gone.  Dare I dream?

It started about a month ago. With Christmas a mere 5 months away, we started receiving toy catalogs in the mail. I handed one of them to J-man and pointed out the toys.  Toys... his interest was peaked.  Pretty soon we were sitting down, looking at the catalog together and he was pointing to the pictures and I was labeling.  Then, he started to imitate my words.  Then, I could point to a picture and he would tell me what it was. 

We have now, offically branched out to real, honest to goodness books.  They are simple stories like the series by Leslie Patricelli, with lots of opportunity for improv, emotion, and engagement.  He now anticipates what the next word is.  He is "acting out" scenes.  He points to words and says them (in his "apraxic-Martian" way).  And most importantly, he wants to read books with me!

Games

He is starting to play games with us.  Simple games like catch and stop-go-race.  But today.... ah, today... I witnessed a game-miracle.  Today at speech, we played Cariboo.

Twice.

There were an awful lot of J-man 'my turns' and prompts to let us be involved, but he did it.  Twice.  He said words for each door, followed simple directions, and did some very basic turn-taking. 

Pretend Play

With Halloween merely days away, I bought J-man a Superman costume.  He adores it.  Adores!!  He insisted on wearing it all the time.  He 'flew' around the living room, holding the cape out to make it "blow in the breeze".

It was hard to get a picture because
he is faster that the speed of light!

So then I went back to the center of the universe (Target), and bought him a Spiderman pajama set.  It also has "wings" (I didn't think that Spiderman flew, but whatever), and he 'flies'.  He also makes his Spiderman doll fly as well.  And Ironman.  And Buzz Lightyear.  He has a thing about flying....

And he refuses to take this one off either.



Off to Speech. 
This would look weird if it wasn't Halloween

What makes all of this so very very grand is that he wants to do each and every one of these activities with us and he makes tons and tons of 'social sounding' or word attempts all the time.  We still have miles to go, but the road seems to have gotten a little less uphill.

The K-less DUC and the Buzz Lightyear Blaster

Communicating Partners/Play to Talk approach is like MAGIC.  You need to hear this story.  Grab a drink, it is long.

It started out so simply. 

A few days ago, Daddy bought J-man a Buzz Lightyear Blaster (aka 'the gun').  Now, let me just say I am not a huge fan of toy guns and this is honestly the first one J-man has had.  But it lights up and shoots foam darts, so J-man thinks it cool.  Whatca gonna do?  Apparently it is in those boy genes.  He can't actually fire the darts yet, and it lights up and make "pew-pew" shooting noises.

Yesterday, J-man found a old Word World Duck.  Without the K.  The letters stick together with magnets to form the duck/word. 

So we were in the living room.  J-man had given me the Duc in frustration because he couldn't get it to stick together properly.  I fixed it, and while I fixed it he started playing with the gun. You know, pulling the trigger to make it do the "pew pew" noises.  When I got Duc fixed, I showed it to him and said "Here's Duc".

He shot at the Duc.  With the gun.

Now, you have to know that J-man hasn't really understood what the gun IS.  It makes noises and shoots foam darts.  But not people, or Duc-s.  And to be totally honest, I am not 100% sure that it was intentional (there is a story here too... just wait).  But that didn't matter, because I made a split decision on my response..

The Duc 'fell from the sky and landed in a dramatic fashion on the floor, breaking apart into D-U-C parts'.

J-man looked surprised.  Intrigued.  I put the Duc pack together (hastily) and made the Duc start to fly. I said "shoot it!!".  He shot again.  And again, and again.  I switched it up, fixing the Duc, giving it to him and taking the gun.  J-man protested (he likes the gun) but then I shot the Duc.  It took him a second or two, but then he had the Duc fall down from the sky in a J-man-like-dramatic fashion, breaking apart into D-U-C parts.

J-man grabbed the gun away from me and while I was trying to reassemble the Duc, pulled the trigger.  So then I fell down in a dramatic fashion, groaning and making "you got me" noises.  Much hilarity ensued.  We did this over and over, Duc and Mommy dying repeatedly dramatic deaths.  I called Daddy up.  Soon, he was also dying in a dramatic fashion on the floor. 

Then I managed to sneak the gun from him (sly mommy) and shot the J-man.

Who fell on the floor in a dramatic fashion, making his own groaning noises. 

Back and forth we did this.... honestly, probably 25 + minutes. 

J-man was playing with us.  J-man was turn-taking with joy and glee.  J-man wanted to keep the party rolling. 

And in the last 5 minutes of this play, spontaneously, with no prompting done or needed, he started talking to us.

"My turn"  "More please"  "Shoot"  "Your Turn"  "Duc"

Commanding us to continue!!!

Are you excited yet?!  Freaking out?!  Well, oh, it gets better. 

The chattering continued all night.  Not all words, or words we could understand, but intentional directed vocalizations to us.  Lots of requesting for interaction.  We responded with intention, even those things that didn't sound like words.  We treated them like words.  And then later that evening, J-man brought me the k-less Duc again, the gun in his hand.  Our new game continued!!!  Willingly and child-lead, with no persuasion on our part, no "forced interaction", no pressure to perform. 

This is the true beauty of the Communicating Partners approach.  Before, I might have pressured J-man to say words for the events:  "Say Duc... Say gun...  Say my turn".   I might have made my participation conditional on his talking, or turn taking, or interacting in a way that I required.  I might have made him give up the gun before he was ready, before the game and the interaction had more value than keeping the gun.  And he would have been gone. 

But I didn't.  I was patient. I didn't have a GOAL in mind.  We just let it happen, scaffolding new ideas when he seemed open to them, and let it evolve.  And we had fun.  The kind of fun you cry about later.

I tried to capture some of it on video, but all I got was this little piece.  (I swear, we should just wire up the house Big Brother style)



Oh, and the last bit of the story?  Remember how I said that I didn't know if J-man intentionally shot the k-less Duc?  Well, get this.  Two days ago I bought Disney's Beauty and the Beast.  We watched it yesterday morning during breakfast.  He loved it, even tho there are some pretty scary parts.  And last night, after bath, and before bed, he asked for "beest".  So we sat down and watched the first 10 minutes of the show.  And in that 10 minutes, Gaston (handsome bad dude) shot a duck!!!

So anyone who thinks J-man isn't paying attention, or able to process, generalize, and reapply concepts to different situations:  Think again. 

(And yes, we are going to have to really watch what he is watching now)

Sharing a Cookie

One of J-man's all time favorite foods ever are cookies.  Specifically, chocolate chip cookies (preferably straight from the oven).

One of my all time favorite foods ever are cookies.  Chocolate chip cookies... straight from the oven...

So here we are, J-man sharing a cookie with me.  You will hear him right at the beginning ask for (and sign) the cookie, which has just arrived at our table for an after-meal treat.  (Sorry for the awful videography)



Clearly, as this video shows, I need to get on Weight Watchers.  But I am so proud of my J-man, sharing his favorite cookie, however little the amount!

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Program...

I can't talk about it.  You know, IT.

 I really want to talk about IT.  I really do.  But for now, I cannot say much.  I can say there will be another meeting.  A meeting with more people, the same people and different people. Important People.  And until that meeting, it would be unwise to talk about IT here.  You know, just in case They are reading this.  And They might be...  who knows, maybe They are trying to learn more about Us.  About who we are.  About how far we will go.  And if I talk about IT here, They will know that we will go all the way, as far as we need to, because our son is worth it. 

So, of course, I can't talk about IT.

Instead, I might talk about how we have started re-examining our committment to the public school system.  How this system is appearing to be more and more broken.  How we fear for our son in a system that fails to protect their children, their students, and may fail to do the right thing (yep, that's our district!  Seriously, people, there is NEVER an excuse for this type of hateful behavior; I don't care what your beliefs are.  Teaching compassion anyone??)

But I think I will just close here with two pictures of the J-man, because he is cute and full of promise.

I am coming out of my shell!

We Interupt This Irregularly Scheduled Freakout....

...for a quick video!

You know you missed the J-man in all his glory! 

Ok, here is the back story:  J-man has taken to imitating TV and movies.  Instead of allowing him to do this alone, we are full-bore into playing with him in this medium.  Heck, if you can't beat'm, join them.  So here he is watching Aladdin.  For a time he wanted us to fly him around on our arms like he was Superman during the flying carpet scenes.  However, now, Daddy has developed a new flying carpet routine. 

Watch the fun:




I think he is doing a pretty kick-ass job of communicating.  What do you think?