Friday, May 15, 2009

The Return of the Green-Eyed Monster Momma (aka GEMM)

Scene: ECFE Class, Friday

Characters: My alter-ego, Green-Eyed Monster Momma (GEMM), Jonathan, and our class of mommy-toddler dyads.

The Story: Every Friday we go to an Early Child Family Education class called Toddlers and Twos. It is a mommy-toddler class where we (the mommies) play with the kiddos for about the first half of class, and then“break away” for the second half for the ‘parent education’ portion.

I have to admit, I have a love/hate relationship with this class. The people are lovely, the kids are cute, and Jonathan needs the social interaction. And I think he enjoys it, the change of pace, the new toys, and even the activity from the other children. He especially seems to have a love/hate relationship with a little boy, ‘Al’. They watch each other and push each other’s buttons. It is really cute and really normal. On the other hand, the ‘parent class’ portion can be a little bit of torture. First of all, the class itself usually covers a topic that is well outside of Jonathan’s Zip Code. For example, the following: potty training (doesn’t know the concept), discipline and time outs (not even close), teaching about stranger danger (uh, really?), and how to encourage your child to help with chores. Seriously, never do I feel as disconnected and inadequate as a parent as when I listen to these moms talk about the things they are struggling with and managing to get their kiddos to do (Little Susie will put away her shoes and jacket, but I just can't get her to wash the dishes yet!).

Well, we hit an all time low.

Today, a mom in my class came in and started telling the following really cute story:

'So, 'Susie' has been peeing in the potty for about a month now ('Susie' is 22 months old, by the way). But ya know, she has never poo-pooed in the potty (yes, they use words like poo-poo). So this morning she told me she had to go potty, and while on the potty she had a bowel movement!! I was sooooo excited, but little 'Susie' was very upset because she wasn't expecting to have poo-poos. I said to her " you must have been very suprised". And she responded "Oh Mommy, I shockeded!". Isn't that just sooooo funny?!?!'

At this point, GEMM reared up her ugly, pissed off head and tried to crawl out of my body to tear this mom's eyes out. She didn't. I laughed along with everyone else, while trying to curtail the seething rage that GEMM was inspiring.

Not only is Little Susie potty trained.

Not only is she now poo-pooing in the potty.

But she is having conversations with her mother about her emotional reactions to poo-pooing in the potty.


I'm going home.



cokalea said...

I am so sorry that you had to hear that story. I wouldn't of blinked if GEMM had ripped her eyes out, B/C I too have heard stories from moms about there super children and wanted to dismember them. Sometimes I pull out the big guns and told a "feel sorry for me" story, I just used what was bothering me the most lately. Like how he hasn't called me mommy yet, or the trouble with the SLP. and use a lot of abbreviations so they have no clue what your talking about. If you pull it off right you'll be a hero for how hard you have it as a mom and what a great job your doing. I know it's bad but in our world sometimes to have the spotlight like they do we have to hit below the belt.

Pia said...

LMAO ... I love the part about using a lot of abbreviations!!! I already do that without even thinking about it... I get a lot of confused looks and end up having a lot of explaining to do.

Its tough, because I don't want to spoil their joy at sharing the stories. Obviously it was not meant to be a dig at us! And I don't want to be someone others feel they have to censor themselves around.

However, GEMM would still like to kick their ass.

Lynn said...

ugh...yes, this is the stuff that is soooo hard. They just have no clue. The early years were the worst, when I was still trying to keep up with all of the other typicals moms from a group that I had joined when Audrey was just 3 mos old (obv well before she was diagnosed). Once I gave up on that I was much happier, but it is still unavoidable to still run into it now and again. You're right though...I feel just as bad when they try to hide their typical kids accomplishments so as not to hurt my feelings. So in their defense I guess they are damned if they and damned if they don't....but they get to have typical kids, so I won't feel too sorry for them.


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