I wanted to share a little video I shot this evening of J-man and I playing while he is in the tub.
Now, as you watch, you will hear J-man doing a lot of talking. Listen carefully. The vast majority of it is unintelligible. But he is saying all of the names of the superheroes, and while I can understand them, you probably can only get a few. The list is as follows: Aqua Lad, Aqua man, Superman, Red Tornado, Batman, Robin, and Kid Flash.
I am working on balancing and matching him in our play, and I think I am fairly successful. Certainly, he seems to be enjoying it!
Showing posts with label Play to Talk/CP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Play to Talk/CP. Show all posts
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
"Where's Spot?"
A few weeks ago I was listening to a show on NPR in which they were discussing films and film-making, and I remember thinking, "Wow, if I could do it all again, it sure would be cool to be a film director. Make these great stories, think about storytelling frame by frame, setting tone, etc etc. How fun would that be??!"
However, as you can see from the video below, I will not be quitting my day job. In my defense, however, this video was taken with my Samsung Moment phone via its' digital camcorder, propped with a 'phone holder' made of Trio blocks on a stack of books on J-man's nightstand. So clearly I was lucky to get even this....
I wanted to capture one of J-man's best moments, and bedtime stories are quickly becoming that time. We are reading a new book, "Where's Spot?", a flip-book with hidden animals under the flaps. J-man thinks the flaps are like doors... as you will hear!
Ding Dong!!!
However, as you can see from the video below, I will not be quitting my day job. In my defense, however, this video was taken with my Samsung Moment phone via its' digital camcorder, propped with a 'phone holder' made of Trio blocks on a stack of books on J-man's nightstand. So clearly I was lucky to get even this....
I wanted to capture one of J-man's best moments, and bedtime stories are quickly becoming that time. We are reading a new book, "Where's Spot?", a flip-book with hidden animals under the flaps. J-man thinks the flaps are like doors... as you will hear!
Ding Dong!!!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Naughty Notes
I was honored to be invited to participate in the S-O-S Best of the Best Blogs. The topic this month is social skills and play skills in children with invisible special needs, and I was happy to share this story. Thank you again to S-O-S for the opportunity!
The note from the preschool teacher:
... J-man was a little aggressive today with the kids... he was tackling one of the kids in fun!
Upon reading a note like this, most parents would be upset. Horrified!
Me? I was thrilled!
J-man is nearly four years old with significantly impaired language (think 2.5 standard deviations below the mean), apraxia of speech (hence huge intelligibility issues) and social skill delays. When J-man was evaluated this summer, the assessment noted : ...clinical impression is that J-man's challenges are related to his language challenges and a self-directed temperament in which maintaining a modicum of control is important.
Translation: J-man is a control freak who tends to keep to himself. Yep.
Understanding how J-man relates to his world, to people, and to communication in general has been a bit of a puzzle for us. He has always exhibited an interest in other children. He finds them funny, amusing to watch, much like TV. But his understanding of how to engage others, especially children, has always lagged far behind. He watches from the sideline, quiet and withdrawn. The tremendous language issues he deals with are only part of the problem... no doubt probably the central feature of his social deficits... but there is also this inattention to social cues, this lack of desire to engage, that exacerbates the problem.
Six months ago, if another child took J-man's toy, he would walk away.
Six months ago, if other children were running a race, he might watch. He might not.
Six months ago, if other boys were wrestling each other, rough play, tackling... he might ignore them completely.
And today, when the boys in J-man's classroom start rough play, he tries to join in. When the kids race around the playground, he races with them. When another child tries to take his toy, he defends himself. In other words, he is slowly starting to do what every other child his age does.
When a child has a significant language delay, the emphasis seems to be on building vocabulary and getting the child to respond to requests for information (i.e. answer questions) and follow directions. While this can demonstrate the 'raw' language and knowledge that a child has, I think it provides an illusion of communication ability that does not actually exist. What is lacking... and what is essential... is the ability to have engaged social conversation. Teaching a child to talk, to 'respond', is one thing.... teaching a child to become socially engaged and communicative is something entirely different.
We are trying to embrace the Communicating Partners approach, which focuses on the importance of building social communication instead of merely language. It is a slower approach, I think, dependent of a series of techniques that pull the child into paying attention to social cues, engaging in positive interactions, matching the child where they are and allowing them to build their language within the context of social relationships. Again, the basic principles are as follows:
Balance: Talk about as much as your child; wait and take turns.
Match: Talk in ways that are possible and interesting for the child.
Respond: Talk about your child’s immediate experiences and ideas.
Share control: Allow both you and the child to lead and follow equally.
Be playful: The more enjoyable you are, the more your child will talk.
What we have found by engaging J-man with these techniques is that he has become aware of us. More present. And aware of the importance of communicating with us. Don't get me wrong... he still sucks at it. And his ability to naturally engage and understand social cues, language, and rules will probably always be 'different'. But it is like he is slowly waking up. It is a beautiful thing, and a terribly fragile thing.
There is still great reason for concern. Because, while it is totally "developmentally normal" at four years old to engage in rough play with your peers, understanding the subtle social cues of when, where, and how to do this are well beyond J-man. And explaining it, also well beyond him. And the likelihood of him understanding.... well beyond. How will he develop these skills without the fundamental innate ability to develop these skills? He is at this awkward crossroads of starting to see the value of social relationships and the complete lack of language and skills to really make those relationships work.
My job is to help him. And how do I do that when I can't be there to support it? To translate his limited, awkward speech, to interpret the actions of others, and his actions to others? To guide him? That was my hopes for what the school district support would have provided, but as you all know, that is no longer an option. And so, we go on our own....
Ahhh... and there is the rub.
The note from the preschool teacher:
... J-man was a little aggressive today with the kids... he was tackling one of the kids in fun!
Upon reading a note like this, most parents would be upset. Horrified!
Me? I was thrilled!
J-man is nearly four years old with significantly impaired language (think 2.5 standard deviations below the mean), apraxia of speech (hence huge intelligibility issues) and social skill delays. When J-man was evaluated this summer, the assessment noted : ...clinical impression is that J-man's challenges are related to his language challenges and a self-directed temperament in which maintaining a modicum of control is important.
Translation: J-man is a control freak who tends to keep to himself. Yep.
Understanding how J-man relates to his world, to people, and to communication in general has been a bit of a puzzle for us. He has always exhibited an interest in other children. He finds them funny, amusing to watch, much like TV. But his understanding of how to engage others, especially children, has always lagged far behind. He watches from the sideline, quiet and withdrawn. The tremendous language issues he deals with are only part of the problem... no doubt probably the central feature of his social deficits... but there is also this inattention to social cues, this lack of desire to engage, that exacerbates the problem.
Six months ago, if another child took J-man's toy, he would walk away.
Six months ago, if other children were running a race, he might watch. He might not.
Six months ago, if other boys were wrestling each other, rough play, tackling... he might ignore them completely.
And today, when the boys in J-man's classroom start rough play, he tries to join in. When the kids race around the playground, he races with them. When another child tries to take his toy, he defends himself. In other words, he is slowly starting to do what every other child his age does.
When a child has a significant language delay, the emphasis seems to be on building vocabulary and getting the child to respond to requests for information (i.e. answer questions) and follow directions. While this can demonstrate the 'raw' language and knowledge that a child has, I think it provides an illusion of communication ability that does not actually exist. What is lacking... and what is essential... is the ability to have engaged social conversation. Teaching a child to talk, to 'respond', is one thing.... teaching a child to become socially engaged and communicative is something entirely different.
We are trying to embrace the Communicating Partners approach, which focuses on the importance of building social communication instead of merely language. It is a slower approach, I think, dependent of a series of techniques that pull the child into paying attention to social cues, engaging in positive interactions, matching the child where they are and allowing them to build their language within the context of social relationships. Again, the basic principles are as follows:
Balance: Talk about as much as your child; wait and take turns.
Match: Talk in ways that are possible and interesting for the child.
Respond: Talk about your child’s immediate experiences and ideas.
Share control: Allow both you and the child to lead and follow equally.
Be playful: The more enjoyable you are, the more your child will talk.
What we have found by engaging J-man with these techniques is that he has become aware of us. More present. And aware of the importance of communicating with us. Don't get me wrong... he still sucks at it. And his ability to naturally engage and understand social cues, language, and rules will probably always be 'different'. But it is like he is slowly waking up. It is a beautiful thing, and a terribly fragile thing.
There is still great reason for concern. Because, while it is totally "developmentally normal" at four years old to engage in rough play with your peers, understanding the subtle social cues of when, where, and how to do this are well beyond J-man. And explaining it, also well beyond him. And the likelihood of him understanding.... well beyond. How will he develop these skills without the fundamental innate ability to develop these skills? He is at this awkward crossroads of starting to see the value of social relationships and the complete lack of language and skills to really make those relationships work.
My job is to help him. And how do I do that when I can't be there to support it? To translate his limited, awkward speech, to interpret the actions of others, and his actions to others? To guide him? That was my hopes for what the school district support would have provided, but as you all know, that is no longer an option. And so, we go on our own....
Ahhh... and there is the rub.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Boys Will Be Boys
Really, believe me.... we don't promote violence. Really.
But... well... somehow, boys just know how to be boys....
This video was shot at my birthday party last week. The "battle" began spontaneously between my nephew A-man (the blond) and my J-man (shorter and not so blond), and after a minute of completely normal, appropriate boy battling with the very safe foam swords, I just had to try and capture the beauty. They loved it. I loved it.
I think I see some pretty good interaction and turn taking going on. What do you think? Oh, and although you can't hear it, J-man followed some "encouraging instructions" from the sidelines. The Cops and Robbers soundtrack provided for your pleasure (and to protect the bad influences.. ahem...lets just leave it at that).
J-man has really taken a keen interest in his cousin, which is just flippin wonderful. A-man is a little older (5) and filled with energy and great ideas, and J-man definitely is paying attention. As I have always known he does.
But really.... believe me.... we don't necessarily condone violence... but what is a little foam swordplay between cousins?
But... well... somehow, boys just know how to be boys....
This video was shot at my birthday party last week. The "battle" began spontaneously between my nephew A-man (the blond) and my J-man (shorter and not so blond), and after a minute of completely normal, appropriate boy battling with the very safe foam swords, I just had to try and capture the beauty. They loved it. I loved it.
I think I see some pretty good interaction and turn taking going on. What do you think? Oh, and although you can't hear it, J-man followed some "encouraging instructions" from the sidelines. The Cops and Robbers soundtrack provided for your pleasure (and to protect the bad influences.. ahem...lets just leave it at that).
J-man has really taken a keen interest in his cousin, which is just flippin wonderful. A-man is a little older (5) and filled with energy and great ideas, and J-man definitely is paying attention. As I have always known he does.
But really.... believe me.... we don't necessarily condone violence... but what is a little foam swordplay between cousins?
Monday, November 22, 2010
Tataway!
A scene from our day:
J-man brings me his coat and thrusts it into my hands. Now, when J-man brings me his coat that generally means he is bored and wants to go somewhere.
So I said, "You want to go?"
He said, "Goooo. Caar!" He signed it, just to make sure I got it.
I said "Okay, we can go. Where?"
J-man remained silent as he put his coat on. I told him to get his shoes and socks, which he did. As I was putting them on I asked him again, "Where go?"
He just looked at me and smiled.
"Go Ice Cream?"I said. (This is the usual place we go when we need to Go)
"Nooooo" said J-man.
"Go park?", I said. (Oh please oh please please, not the park. It is 20 degrees outside.)
"Nooooo", he said again, emphatically, with a slightly annoyed look on his face. Really, Mommy, the park? It is 20 degrees outside.
And then it dawned on me.
"Target?" I said.
"Ar-get?? Arr-get!!", he crowed.
"You want Toys?" I asked.
"Oys Oys Oys!!!" he exclaimed, grinning ear to ear. Bouncing up and down. Fully satisfied at his ability to make his wishes known.
And off we went to Target. When we arrived and settled with cart in hand, I asked, "Where go?"
"Tataway", he pointed emphatically toward the general area of the Toy aisle. We meandered 'tataway'. I took a (purposeful) wrong turn. He grabs my hand and points again, "Go tataway!! Oys!!".
I may have lost my way a few more times (ahem), but we eventually made it to the Toy aisle. J-man directs me from lane to lane, carefully examining the toys. I said "Small toy buddy", hoping it means something to him because let's face it, I don't wanna spend $50 on the Imaginex Dragon Castle, even though I know he has eyed it before. But lucky for Mommy's pocketbook, he was content with a Playmobile Knight.
And this scene, dear readers, would have never ever ever happened a few months ago.
Every few months I have this uncanny ability to totally panic. It occurs to me that we aren't doing enough, or the right things, or enough of the right things. I make calls. I peruse the Internet examining my options for therapies or new techniques or some other new information that might help. I worry and sweat and get myself all twisted up.
And then J-man sets me back on course.
"Tataway!"
J-man brings me his coat and thrusts it into my hands. Now, when J-man brings me his coat that generally means he is bored and wants to go somewhere.
So I said, "You want to go?"
He said, "Goooo. Caar!" He signed it, just to make sure I got it.
I said "Okay, we can go. Where?"
J-man remained silent as he put his coat on. I told him to get his shoes and socks, which he did. As I was putting them on I asked him again, "Where go?"
He just looked at me and smiled.
"Go Ice Cream?"I said. (This is the usual place we go when we need to Go)
"Nooooo" said J-man.
"Go park?", I said. (Oh please oh please please, not the park. It is 20 degrees outside.)
"Nooooo", he said again, emphatically, with a slightly annoyed look on his face. Really, Mommy, the park? It is 20 degrees outside.
And then it dawned on me.
"Target?" I said.
"Ar-get?? Arr-get!!", he crowed.
"You want Toys?" I asked.
"Oys Oys Oys!!!" he exclaimed, grinning ear to ear. Bouncing up and down. Fully satisfied at his ability to make his wishes known.
And off we went to Target. When we arrived and settled with cart in hand, I asked, "Where go?"
"Tataway", he pointed emphatically toward the general area of the Toy aisle. We meandered 'tataway'. I took a (purposeful) wrong turn. He grabs my hand and points again, "Go tataway!! Oys!!".
I may have lost my way a few more times (ahem), but we eventually made it to the Toy aisle. J-man directs me from lane to lane, carefully examining the toys. I said "Small toy buddy", hoping it means something to him because let's face it, I don't wanna spend $50 on the Imaginex Dragon Castle, even though I know he has eyed it before. But lucky for Mommy's pocketbook, he was content with a Playmobile Knight.
And this scene, dear readers, would have never ever ever happened a few months ago.
Every few months I have this uncanny ability to totally panic. It occurs to me that we aren't doing enough, or the right things, or enough of the right things. I make calls. I peruse the Internet examining my options for therapies or new techniques or some other new information that might help. I worry and sweat and get myself all twisted up.
And then J-man sets me back on course.
"Tataway!"
Monday, November 8, 2010
Bathtime Is Playtime
WARNING: Three year old boy in bathtub. No 'naughty parts' seen, but if you are a perv who gets off on watching a three year old in a bathtub, bugger off.
I just had to post this short video of J-man in the bathtub. We are playing "the lion is chasing Buzz and Woody". (You might wanna turn your sound down just a tinge, because it is very echo-y. And my voice is obnoxious.)
Now, this is a pretty good example of the CP approach, and yet I fail miserably in one area: Matching. Clearly, I am overtalking him. I really should have minimized my words and word combinations a lot more. But he is keeping up with the action okay. This is the first great example I could get of where he is at in his pretend and interactive play. This is pretty typical for us... he can take it out one or two ideas, but it sort of stalls there. But, given we had NO pretend play three months ago, I call it a win.
The other part I love is how much he is watching my face for my reaction. He is really enjoying my over-reaction to the lion. And did you notice how he wanted to keep it going by telling me to have the dolls go "that-a-way". Pretty darn cool.
I just had to post this short video of J-man in the bathtub. We are playing "the lion is chasing Buzz and Woody". (You might wanna turn your sound down just a tinge, because it is very echo-y. And my voice is obnoxious.)
Now, this is a pretty good example of the CP approach, and yet I fail miserably in one area: Matching. Clearly, I am overtalking him. I really should have minimized my words and word combinations a lot more. But he is keeping up with the action okay. This is the first great example I could get of where he is at in his pretend and interactive play. This is pretty typical for us... he can take it out one or two ideas, but it sort of stalls there. But, given we had NO pretend play three months ago, I call it a win.
The other part I love is how much he is watching my face for my reaction. He is really enjoying my over-reaction to the lion. And did you notice how he wanted to keep it going by telling me to have the dolls go "that-a-way". Pretty darn cool.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
A Green Flag Parent in a Red Flag World
Last May, I posted an article written by Dr. MacDonald called Red Flags vs Green Flags. I find this ironic and kinda funny because I had discovered this piece well before I knew anything about Dr MacDonald and Play to Talk/CP. It had been posted on another site, and to be honest, it just spoke to me.
I thought of it again this week after talking at length to a friend of mine dealing with some tough issues with her child. She was very discouraged about the messages she was getting from people working with her child. They were highly negative, and most certainly do not match her (or mine for that matter) perception of her child. Whenever she talks about something that is new and positive, she seems to get the "Yeah, but..." response. You know, it goes something like this...
"Yeah, but really he should be doing X, Y, and Z... and well, he is only at C, D, and E...(insert dismissive shake of the head)"
"Yeah, but he never does that at school... and really, he is too far behind his peers to catch up"
"Yeah, but .... (and then that weird look that says they clearly think you are in denial about how terribly, awfully disordered your child is and really you should just come to grips with their assessment of his skills)
The thing that just killed my friend (and me too, for that matter) was that it seemed to her that even suggesting that her child was making any progress as akin to her being in denial about how bad he was. When she spoke about progress at home, or how he could do certain things in other environments like church or daycare, they doubted her. She felt dismissed, like the progress she was seeing was not real because they didn't see it. When you are a parent of a child with special needs, it can feel like you are bombarded with negative messages about how your child is lacking.... how they are "less than"... how they (and you) are failing. It can make you feel alone and powerless and unsupported.
It is very hard to be a Green Flag parent in a Red Flag world.
So I posed this question to the Communicating Partners group: How do you deal with the Red Flag people? You know, the ones who say "Yeah, but..." whenever you say something hopeful, or talk about amazing progress, etc etc... Who always seem to look at deficit instead of progress? Who just can't be positive, or must temper every positive thing with something negative? Like being hopeful and focused on the positive is a disease?
And Dr. MacDonald responded. I felt like I had to share it. Here is (in part) his message to us parents:
Believe in Yourselves More than Professionals!
I say further that you need to do what evaluators only rarely do-- and that is focus on what the child can do. Professionals often seem to think that to justify their job they need to identify all kinds of mistakes your child makes. I claim that your child does not make mistakes, they are developmental growth steps. There are no mistakes, just practices for success.
Professionals would go much further with our children if they would take a developmental approach by identifying what the child can do and have him do more of that. Stop putting yourself down because you have a child doing less than same-aged peers. That does not make him wrong, and it does not make you wrong.
How often do you feel wrong when someone accuses your child of being wrong???
Don't be blown away by negative evaluations any more than if someone said you have the wrong kind of car, or dress or house. Be proud of what you have done for yourself. That will help your child be proud of what he can do. If he is not proud, he will do less and believe less in himself. (Attitude matters!*)
Realize your child is learning from you all the time and he is learning much more than what you say or try to teach him, he learns how to believe and think by watching you.
STOP BELIEVING PROFESSIONALS KNOW MORE THAN YOU DO ABOUT YOUR CHILD. THEY DO NOT.
In fact they cannot know who your child is and what he does and can do unless they watch him with you and get a thorough report on what he does at home.
Also, professionals are usually asking the wrong questions. They seldom know much about early development and what children need to do before they're in school (and how to encourage it*). Skills such as social play, imitation, turn taking, deliberate communication, initiating, responding. listening, and many others are seldom evaluated and yet they are the keys to learning and communicating. Realize that you often buy into a system that is keeping your child down. Start seeing how and when you are doing that, such as when you push your child to do things he is not ready for, making him avoid you and others by acting in ways he cannot try to do.
Be more focused on what your child can do and get him to do it more. At the same time, focus on what you do when he is performing well - keep doing it.
Be sure he is your partner more than your student.
And ask yourself: WHOSE CHILD IS HE OR SHE ANYWAY?
When was the last time a professional gave you a pep-talk like THAT?
I adore Dr. MacDonald. Thank you!
* my comments based on other posts from Dr MacDonald
I thought of it again this week after talking at length to a friend of mine dealing with some tough issues with her child. She was very discouraged about the messages she was getting from people working with her child. They were highly negative, and most certainly do not match her (or mine for that matter) perception of her child. Whenever she talks about something that is new and positive, she seems to get the "Yeah, but..." response. You know, it goes something like this...
"Yeah, but really he should be doing X, Y, and Z... and well, he is only at C, D, and E...(insert dismissive shake of the head)"
"Yeah, but he never does that at school... and really, he is too far behind his peers to catch up"
"Yeah, but .... (and then that weird look that says they clearly think you are in denial about how terribly, awfully disordered your child is and really you should just come to grips with their assessment of his skills)
The thing that just killed my friend (and me too, for that matter) was that it seemed to her that even suggesting that her child was making any progress as akin to her being in denial about how bad he was. When she spoke about progress at home, or how he could do certain things in other environments like church or daycare, they doubted her. She felt dismissed, like the progress she was seeing was not real because they didn't see it. When you are a parent of a child with special needs, it can feel like you are bombarded with negative messages about how your child is lacking.... how they are "less than"... how they (and you) are failing. It can make you feel alone and powerless and unsupported.
It is very hard to be a Green Flag parent in a Red Flag world.
So I posed this question to the Communicating Partners group: How do you deal with the Red Flag people? You know, the ones who say "Yeah, but..." whenever you say something hopeful, or talk about amazing progress, etc etc... Who always seem to look at deficit instead of progress? Who just can't be positive, or must temper every positive thing with something negative? Like being hopeful and focused on the positive is a disease?
And Dr. MacDonald responded. I felt like I had to share it. Here is (in part) his message to us parents:
Believe in Yourselves More than Professionals!
I say further that you need to do what evaluators only rarely do-- and that is focus on what the child can do. Professionals often seem to think that to justify their job they need to identify all kinds of mistakes your child makes. I claim that your child does not make mistakes, they are developmental growth steps. There are no mistakes, just practices for success.
Professionals would go much further with our children if they would take a developmental approach by identifying what the child can do and have him do more of that. Stop putting yourself down because you have a child doing less than same-aged peers. That does not make him wrong, and it does not make you wrong.
How often do you feel wrong when someone accuses your child of being wrong???
Don't be blown away by negative evaluations any more than if someone said you have the wrong kind of car, or dress or house. Be proud of what you have done for yourself. That will help your child be proud of what he can do. If he is not proud, he will do less and believe less in himself. (Attitude matters!*)
Realize your child is learning from you all the time and he is learning much more than what you say or try to teach him, he learns how to believe and think by watching you.
STOP BELIEVING PROFESSIONALS KNOW MORE THAN YOU DO ABOUT YOUR CHILD. THEY DO NOT.
In fact they cannot know who your child is and what he does and can do unless they watch him with you and get a thorough report on what he does at home.
Also, professionals are usually asking the wrong questions. They seldom know much about early development and what children need to do before they're in school (and how to encourage it*). Skills such as social play, imitation, turn taking, deliberate communication, initiating, responding. listening, and many others are seldom evaluated and yet they are the keys to learning and communicating. Realize that you often buy into a system that is keeping your child down. Start seeing how and when you are doing that, such as when you push your child to do things he is not ready for, making him avoid you and others by acting in ways he cannot try to do.
Be more focused on what your child can do and get him to do it more. At the same time, focus on what you do when he is performing well - keep doing it.
Be sure he is your partner more than your student.
And ask yourself: WHOSE CHILD IS HE OR SHE ANYWAY?
When was the last time a professional gave you a pep-talk like THAT?
I adore Dr. MacDonald. Thank you!
* my comments based on other posts from Dr MacDonald
Sunday, October 24, 2010
J-man's Fifty Dollars
J-man's level of "engagement", interactive play, social sounding and word attempts has really been on the rise. I mean, in a exciting, "I can't wait to see what he will do next" kind of way. However, J-man is also starting to exhibit some "less that desirable" behaviors, including 'arguing' (no no no no), hitting, and some all out temper tantrums. In many respects, this is to be expected. As children begin to develop communication skills, they begin testing limits and using that communication to try and get their way. An up-tic in negative behaviors is actually a positive sign, but let's face it: It must be nipped in the bud.
The Communicating Partners approach to dealing with this is probably a common one, but one worth mentioning here. Basically, Dr MacDonald says that giving your child attention, interaction, and communication is like giving them a $50 bill. So, if you want to increase the behavior, you give them all of those things. If you want to decrease the behavior, you give them none of those things. No negotiation, no "talking it through", no explanations, no arguing, no feeding into the drama.
And tonight this approach was put into practice.
J-man was taking a bath (he LOVES bath time) and was all prune-y, so I told him "time to get out".
"No no no no" he said (a response!!! heheheh)
"Yes, all done" I said, and I drained the water. He started pitching a fit, so I took him out and brought him into our bedroom. I calmed him down, but as I tried to get him dressed he lost it again, refusing to let me put his diaper on. He yelled and screamed, hit out at me, kicked his legs, etc etc.
And here was my thought process: My goal is to get him dressed. His goal is to not get dressed AND to fight with me (get attention). Therefore, my NEW GOAL needs to be to not reinforce this behavior.
So I left the room and went into the hallway.
My hubby came upstairs to see what all the fuss was about and I told him not to go in yet. J-man was crying and he came running into the hall and took my hand to bring me back to the bedroom. I said "ok, diaper", and he said "no no no no". My husband then began negotiating with him (a No-No!!!) and J-man went back into temper tantrum mode. So I told my hubby "Let's go out" and we both (wordlessly) went back out into the hall.
J-man was ENRAGED that we left again. He cried and screamed for another minute, and then followed us into the hall, grabbed both our hands and pulled us back into the bedroom.
And willingly got dressed. Even helped! And was grinning and babbling by the end
What I learned:
1. Feeding into J-man's negative behaviors only increases the behavior (the $50). When Daddy came and gave him attention, he started up all over again. When we both denied him the attention, things changed quickly.
2. J-man WANTS to interact with us. He was sooo upset when we left, when he had no one to be with, even though he had 'gotten his way' to stay naked. It was more important to him to be with us than to get his way.
I am loving this.
The Communicating Partners approach to dealing with this is probably a common one, but one worth mentioning here. Basically, Dr MacDonald says that giving your child attention, interaction, and communication is like giving them a $50 bill. So, if you want to increase the behavior, you give them all of those things. If you want to decrease the behavior, you give them none of those things. No negotiation, no "talking it through", no explanations, no arguing, no feeding into the drama.
And tonight this approach was put into practice.
J-man was taking a bath (he LOVES bath time) and was all prune-y, so I told him "time to get out".
"No no no no" he said (a response!!! heheheh)
"Yes, all done" I said, and I drained the water. He started pitching a fit, so I took him out and brought him into our bedroom. I calmed him down, but as I tried to get him dressed he lost it again, refusing to let me put his diaper on. He yelled and screamed, hit out at me, kicked his legs, etc etc.
And here was my thought process: My goal is to get him dressed. His goal is to not get dressed AND to fight with me (get attention). Therefore, my NEW GOAL needs to be to not reinforce this behavior.
So I left the room and went into the hallway.
My hubby came upstairs to see what all the fuss was about and I told him not to go in yet. J-man was crying and he came running into the hall and took my hand to bring me back to the bedroom. I said "ok, diaper", and he said "no no no no". My husband then began negotiating with him (a No-No!!!) and J-man went back into temper tantrum mode. So I told my hubby "Let's go out" and we both (wordlessly) went back out into the hall.
J-man was ENRAGED that we left again. He cried and screamed for another minute, and then followed us into the hall, grabbed both our hands and pulled us back into the bedroom.
And willingly got dressed. Even helped! And was grinning and babbling by the end
What I learned:
1. Feeding into J-man's negative behaviors only increases the behavior (the $50). When Daddy came and gave him attention, he started up all over again. When we both denied him the attention, things changed quickly.
2. J-man WANTS to interact with us. He was sooo upset when we left, when he had no one to be with, even though he had 'gotten his way' to stay naked. It was more important to him to be with us than to get his way.
I am loving this.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The K-less DUC and the Buzz Lightyear Blaster
Communicating Partners/Play to Talk approach is like MAGIC. You need to hear this story. Grab a drink, it is long.
It started out so simply.
A few days ago, Daddy bought J-man a Buzz Lightyear Blaster (aka 'the gun'). Now, let me just say I am not a huge fan of toy guns and this is honestly the first one J-man has had. But it lights up and shoots foam darts, so J-man thinks it cool. Whatca gonna do? Apparently it is in those boy genes. He can't actually fire the darts yet, and it lights up and make "pew-pew" shooting noises.
Yesterday, J-man found a old Word World Duck. Without the K. The letters stick together with magnets to form the duck/word.
So we were in the living room. J-man had given me the Duc in frustration because he couldn't get it to stick together properly. I fixed it, and while I fixed it he started playing with the gun. You know, pulling the trigger to make it do the "pew pew" noises. When I got Duc fixed, I showed it to him and said "Here's Duc".
He shot at the Duc. With the gun.
Now, you have to know that J-man hasn't really understood what the gun IS. It makes noises and shoots foam darts. But not people, or Duc-s. And to be totally honest, I am not 100% sure that it was intentional (there is a story here too... just wait). But that didn't matter, because I made a split decision on my response..
The Duc 'fell from the sky and landed in a dramatic fashion on the floor, breaking apart into D-U-C parts'.
J-man looked surprised. Intrigued. I put the Duc pack together (hastily) and made the Duc start to fly. I said "shoot it!!". He shot again. And again, and again. I switched it up, fixing the Duc, giving it to him and taking the gun. J-man protested (he likes the gun) but then I shot the Duc. It took him a second or two, but then he had the Duc fall down from the sky in a J-man-like-dramatic fashion, breaking apart into D-U-C parts.
J-man grabbed the gun away from me and while I was trying to reassemble the Duc, pulled the trigger. So then I fell down in a dramatic fashion, groaning and making "you got me" noises. Much hilarity ensued. We did this over and over, Duc and Mommy dying repeatedly dramatic deaths. I called Daddy up. Soon, he was also dying in a dramatic fashion on the floor.
Then I managed to sneak the gun from him (sly mommy) and shot the J-man.
Who fell on the floor in a dramatic fashion, making his own groaning noises.
Back and forth we did this.... honestly, probably 25 + minutes.
J-man was playing with us. J-man was turn-taking with joy and glee. J-man wanted to keep the party rolling.
And in the last 5 minutes of this play, spontaneously, with no prompting done or needed, he started talking to us.
"My turn" "More please" "Shoot" "Your Turn" "Duc"
Commanding us to continue!!!
Are you excited yet?! Freaking out?! Well, oh, it gets better.
The chattering continued all night. Not all words, or words we could understand, but intentional directed vocalizations to us. Lots of requesting for interaction. We responded with intention, even those things that didn't sound like words. We treated them like words. And then later that evening, J-man brought me the k-less Duc again, the gun in his hand. Our new game continued!!! Willingly and child-lead, with no persuasion on our part, no "forced interaction", no pressure to perform.
This is the true beauty of the Communicating Partners approach. Before, I might have pressured J-man to say words for the events: "Say Duc... Say gun... Say my turn". I might have made my participation conditional on his talking, or turn taking, or interacting in a way that I required. I might have made him give up the gun before he was ready, before the game and the interaction had more value than keeping the gun. And he would have been gone.
But I didn't. I was patient. I didn't have a GOAL in mind. We just let it happen, scaffolding new ideas when he seemed open to them, and let it evolve. And we had fun. The kind of fun you cry about later.
I tried to capture some of it on video, but all I got was this little piece. (I swear, we should just wire up the house Big Brother style)
Oh, and the last bit of the story? Remember how I said that I didn't know if J-man intentionally shot the k-less Duc? Well, get this. Two days ago I bought Disney's Beauty and the Beast. We watched it yesterday morning during breakfast. He loved it, even tho there are some pretty scary parts. And last night, after bath, and before bed, he asked for "beest". So we sat down and watched the first 10 minutes of the show. And in that 10 minutes, Gaston (handsome bad dude) shot a duck!!!
So anyone who thinks J-man isn't paying attention, or able to process, generalize, and reapply concepts to different situations: Think again.
(And yes, we are going to have to really watch what he is watching now)
It started out so simply.
A few days ago, Daddy bought J-man a Buzz Lightyear Blaster (aka 'the gun'). Now, let me just say I am not a huge fan of toy guns and this is honestly the first one J-man has had. But it lights up and shoots foam darts, so J-man thinks it cool. Whatca gonna do? Apparently it is in those boy genes. He can't actually fire the darts yet, and it lights up and make "pew-pew" shooting noises.
Yesterday, J-man found a old Word World Duck. Without the K. The letters stick together with magnets to form the duck/word.
He shot at the Duc. With the gun.
Now, you have to know that J-man hasn't really understood what the gun IS. It makes noises and shoots foam darts. But not people, or Duc-s. And to be totally honest, I am not 100% sure that it was intentional (there is a story here too... just wait). But that didn't matter, because I made a split decision on my response..
The Duc 'fell from the sky and landed in a dramatic fashion on the floor, breaking apart into D-U-C parts'.
J-man looked surprised. Intrigued. I put the Duc pack together (hastily) and made the Duc start to fly. I said "shoot it!!". He shot again. And again, and again. I switched it up, fixing the Duc, giving it to him and taking the gun. J-man protested (he likes the gun) but then I shot the Duc. It took him a second or two, but then he had the Duc fall down from the sky in a J-man-like-dramatic fashion, breaking apart into D-U-C parts.
J-man grabbed the gun away from me and while I was trying to reassemble the Duc, pulled the trigger. So then I fell down in a dramatic fashion, groaning and making "you got me" noises. Much hilarity ensued. We did this over and over, Duc and Mommy dying repeatedly dramatic deaths. I called Daddy up. Soon, he was also dying in a dramatic fashion on the floor.
Then I managed to sneak the gun from him (sly mommy) and shot the J-man.
Who fell on the floor in a dramatic fashion, making his own groaning noises.
Back and forth we did this.... honestly, probably 25 + minutes.
J-man was playing with us. J-man was turn-taking with joy and glee. J-man wanted to keep the party rolling.
And in the last 5 minutes of this play, spontaneously, with no prompting done or needed, he started talking to us.
"My turn" "More please" "Shoot" "Your Turn" "Duc"
Commanding us to continue!!!
Are you excited yet?! Freaking out?! Well, oh, it gets better.
The chattering continued all night. Not all words, or words we could understand, but intentional directed vocalizations to us. Lots of requesting for interaction. We responded with intention, even those things that didn't sound like words. We treated them like words. And then later that evening, J-man brought me the k-less Duc again, the gun in his hand. Our new game continued!!! Willingly and child-lead, with no persuasion on our part, no "forced interaction", no pressure to perform.
This is the true beauty of the Communicating Partners approach. Before, I might have pressured J-man to say words for the events: "Say Duc... Say gun... Say my turn". I might have made my participation conditional on his talking, or turn taking, or interacting in a way that I required. I might have made him give up the gun before he was ready, before the game and the interaction had more value than keeping the gun. And he would have been gone.
But I didn't. I was patient. I didn't have a GOAL in mind. We just let it happen, scaffolding new ideas when he seemed open to them, and let it evolve. And we had fun. The kind of fun you cry about later.
I tried to capture some of it on video, but all I got was this little piece. (I swear, we should just wire up the house Big Brother style)
Oh, and the last bit of the story? Remember how I said that I didn't know if J-man intentionally shot the k-less Duc? Well, get this. Two days ago I bought Disney's Beauty and the Beast. We watched it yesterday morning during breakfast. He loved it, even tho there are some pretty scary parts. And last night, after bath, and before bed, he asked for "beest". So we sat down and watched the first 10 minutes of the show. And in that 10 minutes, Gaston (handsome bad dude) shot a duck!!!
So anyone who thinks J-man isn't paying attention, or able to process, generalize, and reapply concepts to different situations: Think again.
(And yes, we are going to have to really watch what he is watching now)
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
We Interupt This Irregularly Scheduled Freakout....
...for a quick video!
You know you missed the J-man in all his glory!
Ok, here is the back story: J-man has taken to imitating TV and movies. Instead of allowing him to do this alone, we are full-bore into playing with him in this medium. Heck, if you can't beat'm, join them. So here he is watching Aladdin. For a time he wanted us to fly him around on our arms like he was Superman during the flying carpet scenes. However, now, Daddy has developed a new flying carpet routine.
Watch the fun:
I think he is doing a pretty kick-ass job of communicating. What do you think?
You know you missed the J-man in all his glory!
Ok, here is the back story: J-man has taken to imitating TV and movies. Instead of allowing him to do this alone, we are full-bore into playing with him in this medium. Heck, if you can't beat'm, join them. So here he is watching Aladdin. For a time he wanted us to fly him around on our arms like he was Superman during the flying carpet scenes. However, now, Daddy has developed a new flying carpet routine.
Watch the fun:
I think he is doing a pretty kick-ass job of communicating. What do you think?
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Play to Talk: An Example
You asked for it, Lynn. Well, you and a few other folks who FB and emailed me.
I will confess, here and now, that I am a newbie to the Communicating Partners/Play to Talk approach for increasing interaction and communication. So recognize that I am by far NOT an expert, and take what I have been doing with a grain of salt. I would recommend, however, that if you have real interest in learning more, join and check out the Communicating Partners Yahoo Group. The admin there frequently posts different essays about these techniques that have been very helpful. Plus, it is just a great, supportive group.
(Note: Everything I talk about today comes from the Yahoo Group and Play to Talk by Dr. MacDonald. All credit to him!)
First I will talk about the fundamental premise of this whole approach: Entering the child's world. And let me tell you, it is easier said than done. All children (especially children with communication problems) live in a world of sensation and action. We adults live in a world of thought and language. We cannot successfully bring our children into our world without first entering their world. Children (all children) build understanding through their ability to accurately sense the world around them and to physically act upon those sensations. That is the foundation of our cognitive "house". Children with developmental delays often have issues with both their sensory processing and their ability to respond to those sensations. Their sensory world is confusing, disorganized, and inconsistent. Therefore, the idea is for you to become a guide who goes from our adult world, enters their child world, finds a way to interact with the child in a way the child can understand, and then gradually bring them into our world by being an accessible, fun, and interesting partner.
Too wordy? Whew...
So, there are five core strategies to get into your child's world. They are as follows (directly from Dr MacDonald):
1. Balance- do only as much as the child then wait with expectation for him to take a turn. (and sometimes the waiting can feel like forever.... take ANY behavior, sound, etc to be a turn at first)
2. Match-- act and communicate in ways the child can do now (don't speak in sentences if your child only has single words)
3. Respond to the child's actions and communications rather than always telling him what to do. (Don't teach... be a play partner)
4. Share control. Be sure each of you leads half the time and try to reduce your questions so you do more of showing him a next step. (Questions require answers. That seems too much like work to me, too)
5. Be playful and emotionally attached-- make the interactions fun and interesting for the child. Enjoy what he enjoys!
So, here is an example of an actual, real, honest interaction I had with J-man that is an example of these techniques. I posted it on the Communicating Partners site as a "Funny Story", and a member (Carolyn) provided me with the wonderful analysis on how it was a great example of this approach.
THE FUNNY STORY:
So, last night while making dinner I accidentally splashed boiling water on my naked foot. (That is not the funny part) So, as you can imagine, I am in a bit of pain, on the floor of the kitchen with a cold washcloth on my foot. J-man comes in and sees my grimace and gets a little worried and upset. I told him "mommy oiwee, hurt". He touched my furrowed brow and my grimace, made his own grimacy face, and then he took both of his hands, put them on my cheeks, pushed my cheeks up and told me "mile!" (smile).
Of course at that I DID. (Smiled, that is)
Then I grimaced again (on purpose) and he pushed my cheeks up again and said "no no. MILE!". We did this a few more times... it became a little game.
And here is Carolyn's response:
The loveliest thing about the story is how your son showed empathy...how very much connected you two were with each other...a beautiful thing and the central key to a relationship, in my opinion! The story also beautifully illustrates all of the CP strategies!
Matching: You matched your son from the start. After noticing his concern, many moms would have said something like this: "Oh, J-man, Mommy hurt her foot. I spilled HOT water on my foot, and it burned my foot, and it felt really bad! Thank you so much for your concern. Here, come give me a big hug and kiss to help Mommy feel better..." Your son probably would have been able to understand everything you said, but it would have been way too much for him to say himself. Instead, you used his language and simply said, "mommy oiwee, hurt." Then, for the remainder of the interaction, you continued doing and saying things that he could do or say, making the interaction both possible and meaningful to him.
Balancing: This was obviously a "textbook" illustration of balance in action! You each did and said about as much as the other, going back and forth for several turns. Fabulous!
Sharing Control: Again, a beautiful example of this strategy, with neither one of you taking over the conversation. It would have been very easy for either of you to have dominated the interaction, either you as the "victim" or him as the one giving you consolation.
Being Emotionally Playful: You two turned a "tragic" event into a fun game that got you both smiling! And all of us along with you!
Sensitive Responsiveness: You sensitively responded to your son's communications, beginning with your response to his concern. And even though these strategies are supposed to be the "adult" strategies that we can all use to help our children become better communicators, your son was using this strategy beautifully with you, sensitively responding to your pain! Very sweet.
It seems simple, but it isn't. Not at first. But the rewards are very sweet.
I will confess, here and now, that I am a newbie to the Communicating Partners/Play to Talk approach for increasing interaction and communication. So recognize that I am by far NOT an expert, and take what I have been doing with a grain of salt. I would recommend, however, that if you have real interest in learning more, join and check out the Communicating Partners Yahoo Group. The admin there frequently posts different essays about these techniques that have been very helpful. Plus, it is just a great, supportive group.
(Note: Everything I talk about today comes from the Yahoo Group and Play to Talk by Dr. MacDonald. All credit to him!)
First I will talk about the fundamental premise of this whole approach: Entering the child's world. And let me tell you, it is easier said than done. All children (especially children with communication problems) live in a world of sensation and action. We adults live in a world of thought and language. We cannot successfully bring our children into our world without first entering their world. Children (all children) build understanding through their ability to accurately sense the world around them and to physically act upon those sensations. That is the foundation of our cognitive "house". Children with developmental delays often have issues with both their sensory processing and their ability to respond to those sensations. Their sensory world is confusing, disorganized, and inconsistent. Therefore, the idea is for you to become a guide who goes from our adult world, enters their child world, finds a way to interact with the child in a way the child can understand, and then gradually bring them into our world by being an accessible, fun, and interesting partner.
Too wordy? Whew...
So, there are five core strategies to get into your child's world. They are as follows (directly from Dr MacDonald):
1. Balance- do only as much as the child then wait with expectation for him to take a turn. (and sometimes the waiting can feel like forever.... take ANY behavior, sound, etc to be a turn at first)
2. Match-- act and communicate in ways the child can do now (don't speak in sentences if your child only has single words)
3. Respond to the child's actions and communications rather than always telling him what to do. (Don't teach... be a play partner)
4. Share control. Be sure each of you leads half the time and try to reduce your questions so you do more of showing him a next step. (Questions require answers. That seems too much like work to me, too)
5. Be playful and emotionally attached-- make the interactions fun and interesting for the child. Enjoy what he enjoys!
So, here is an example of an actual, real, honest interaction I had with J-man that is an example of these techniques. I posted it on the Communicating Partners site as a "Funny Story", and a member (Carolyn) provided me with the wonderful analysis on how it was a great example of this approach.
THE FUNNY STORY:
So, last night while making dinner I accidentally splashed boiling water on my naked foot. (That is not the funny part) So, as you can imagine, I am in a bit of pain, on the floor of the kitchen with a cold washcloth on my foot. J-man comes in and sees my grimace and gets a little worried and upset. I told him "mommy oiwee, hurt". He touched my furrowed brow and my grimace, made his own grimacy face, and then he took both of his hands, put them on my cheeks, pushed my cheeks up and told me "mile!" (smile).
Of course at that I DID. (Smiled, that is)
Then I grimaced again (on purpose) and he pushed my cheeks up again and said "no no. MILE!". We did this a few more times... it became a little game.
And here is Carolyn's response:
The loveliest thing about the story is how your son showed empathy...how very much connected you two were with each other...a beautiful thing and the central key to a relationship, in my opinion! The story also beautifully illustrates all of the CP strategies!
Matching: You matched your son from the start. After noticing his concern, many moms would have said something like this: "Oh, J-man, Mommy hurt her foot. I spilled HOT water on my foot, and it burned my foot, and it felt really bad! Thank you so much for your concern. Here, come give me a big hug and kiss to help Mommy feel better..." Your son probably would have been able to understand everything you said, but it would have been way too much for him to say himself. Instead, you used his language and simply said, "mommy oiwee, hurt." Then, for the remainder of the interaction, you continued doing and saying things that he could do or say, making the interaction both possible and meaningful to him.
Balancing: This was obviously a "textbook" illustration of balance in action! You each did and said about as much as the other, going back and forth for several turns. Fabulous!
Sharing Control: Again, a beautiful example of this strategy, with neither one of you taking over the conversation. It would have been very easy for either of you to have dominated the interaction, either you as the "victim" or him as the one giving you consolation.
Being Emotionally Playful: You two turned a "tragic" event into a fun game that got you both smiling! And all of us along with you!
Sensitive Responsiveness: You sensitively responded to your son's communications, beginning with your response to his concern. And even though these strategies are supposed to be the "adult" strategies that we can all use to help our children become better communicators, your son was using this strategy beautifully with you, sensitively responding to your pain! Very sweet.
It seems simple, but it isn't. Not at first. But the rewards are very sweet.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Review: Play To Talk by Dr James MacDonald & Dr Pam Stoika
(Please see my brand-spanking new review policy)
Ok.
Let me just say this.
This sh*t works.
I bought this book on Amazon.com about 2 months ago at the recommendation of some friends I met on the Natural Late Talkers Group and the Communicating Partners Yahoo Group. At that time, with the recommendations from the Camaratas, we were searching for ways to better focus our efforts on building social interaction and communication. From the back of the book:
Based on 30 years of clinical research, Play To Talk empowers parents with proven strategies and step-by-step instructions to help children of any age learn talk and develop essential skills for conversational relationships and social interactions. This program turns everyday play sessions and social interactions between your child and family members into opportunities to foster language development, relationship skills, and positive behavior -- without taking the fun out of being together.
The basic principles of this book are the following:
Play To Talk is designed to be a very practical, very hands-on, and very approachable book for parents whose children are struggling with communicating, social interaction, and talking. At 232 pages, it is a quick, easy read. It is written for the lay-person; for PARENTS. It challenged a lot of my preconceived ideas about "teaching" J-man to talk, and highlighted many of the 'bad habits' I had that were actual barriers to building communication with J-man. The book provides examples and practical ideas to implementing these strategies.
I will admit that... as with every new thing we try.... I went into this with a skeptics' eye. There are elements of the strategies that are difficult to wrap your head around. For example, the idea of balance was a difficult one for me. To talk about as much as J-man meant.... errr... not talking. Or at least, not talking much. But here's the kicker: It worked. It actually worked. Within a few weeks, J-man has increased his communication attempts and his desire to communicate. My mother, who had been away traveling and hadn't seen him in several weeks, was amazed at the difference in him.
Play To Talk is a little hard to get your hands on. It is offered on Amazon.com but when I purchased it, the book was out of stock. I ended up having to purchase it used through one of the Amazon's affiliates. I have since learned that contacting Dr MacDonald though his website is another way to get the book. I also learned that his other book, Communicating Partners, has the same principles but IS in stock. However, I haven't read that one. Yet.
Two big thumbs up.
Let me just say this.
This sh*t works.
I bought this book on Amazon.com about 2 months ago at the recommendation of some friends I met on the Natural Late Talkers Group and the Communicating Partners Yahoo Group. At that time, with the recommendations from the Camaratas, we were searching for ways to better focus our efforts on building social interaction and communication. From the back of the book:
Based on 30 years of clinical research, Play To Talk empowers parents with proven strategies and step-by-step instructions to help children of any age learn talk and develop essential skills for conversational relationships and social interactions. This program turns everyday play sessions and social interactions between your child and family members into opportunities to foster language development, relationship skills, and positive behavior -- without taking the fun out of being together.
The basic principles of this book are the following:
Every day, practice the five strategies that have helped many children talk.
Balance:
Talk about as much as your child; wait and take turns.
Match:
Talk in ways that are possible and interesting for the child.
Respond:
Talk about your child’s immediate experiences and ideas.
Share control:
Allow both you and the child to lead and follow equally.
Be playful:
The more enjoyable you are, the more your child will talk.
Play To Talk is designed to be a very practical, very hands-on, and very approachable book for parents whose children are struggling with communicating, social interaction, and talking. At 232 pages, it is a quick, easy read. It is written for the lay-person; for PARENTS. It challenged a lot of my preconceived ideas about "teaching" J-man to talk, and highlighted many of the 'bad habits' I had that were actual barriers to building communication with J-man. The book provides examples and practical ideas to implementing these strategies.
I will admit that... as with every new thing we try.... I went into this with a skeptics' eye. There are elements of the strategies that are difficult to wrap your head around. For example, the idea of balance was a difficult one for me. To talk about as much as J-man meant.... errr... not talking. Or at least, not talking much. But here's the kicker: It worked. It actually worked. Within a few weeks, J-man has increased his communication attempts and his desire to communicate. My mother, who had been away traveling and hadn't seen him in several weeks, was amazed at the difference in him.
Play To Talk is a little hard to get your hands on. It is offered on Amazon.com but when I purchased it, the book was out of stock. I ended up having to purchase it used through one of the Amazon's affiliates. I have since learned that contacting Dr MacDonald though his website is another way to get the book. I also learned that his other book, Communicating Partners, has the same principles but IS in stock. However, I haven't read that one. Yet.
Two big thumbs up.
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