Sunday, November 20, 2011

A Normal Life and Other Crazy Talk

Photo by PaperWings Photography

A shift is happening here.  It is weird.  It is unexpected. Complicated.  A little frightening.

We are edging a little bit closer to normal

Egads!!!  Not THAT!

Not J-man, mind you... he is still his fabulous self!  He has gotten much more vocal, verbal, and opinionated, all good and frustrating things. His intelligible vocabulary is increasing daily, and his use/desire to communicate is happily expanding.  We are happy.  He is happy.  All is well.

"Normal" comes in the form of "what other people's lives are like".  As in... jobs, lifestyle, time, energy... all the crap everyone else does day to day.  You know, "normal".

"Normal" means we managed to find a babysitter.  In fact, not just one but TWO babysitters.  Two sisters who live down the street from us, who are young enough to still love playing with little kids but old enough to be responsible.  Two delightful young ladies who just happen to have a brother with autism.  Who understand autism.  Who get it.  I mean, seriously...

It is like hitting the babysitter jackpot. 

What this means is that now we do not have to rely solely on Mumu to babysit (which is good since Mumu & Papa are snowbirding this winter 1000 miles away).  It means we can have regular date nights.  It means we can make last minute plans with friends... go for dinner... laugh and have a few drinks... guilt-fricken-free.  And might I add, J-man adores them, and has from the first moment they came to the door.  Intuitively he just knew.  It might seem like a small thing, but it is HUGE.

"Normal" also means big changes in Mommy's department.  I applied for... interviewed...was offered... and accepted a new role at my work.  I am going to be a clinical educator in my unit, which is both a huge change and an exciting one.  I need to do this.  Now is the time and opportunity.  It is something I really want. 

And yet...

.. of course, I am a little nervous.  Or a lot.  Or is the word "freaked out"?  Not just about the job itself... I feel okay about that.  But what is going to be the effect on J-man??  I will be working a lot more.  He will start going to his program full-time now.  I have my concerns about that (to be addressed in a different post). Some guilt.  Or a LOT of guilt.  If all goes well, it will be wonderful.  If all goes sh*tty, then it is my fault.  Yeah, nice thought. 

Plus my house will probably become a disaster. Or more of a disaster than it already is. Big Daddy will have to take on some new duties which he says will not be a big deal but....  well, let's hope... All in all, though, not a bad problem to have.  Not bad at all. 

Of course, I am safe in the knowledge that J-man is unlikely to let our lives get too normal.  We will... no doubt... continue to let our freak-flag fly proud. I think that sounds just about perfect.

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