Once again, I have been honored to be a guest poster on S-O-S Best of the Best Bloggers. Check out the list of great folks (and an older post of mine... if you follow me, you will know this post!).
And in that vein, let me share with you a post from one of my favorite bloggers ever, Robert Rummel Hudson from Fighting Monsters with Rubber Swords.
My response to his post: Hell yeah!
Showing posts with label Guest blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guest blogging. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Sunday, September 5, 2010
On Compassion
My submission to the TPGA site was very well received. Parents and professionals alike seemed to get what I was trying to say, and were open to and grateful for the message. Well, except one. Much to my dismay, one teacher had some very negative things to say. They didn’t seem directed at my piece per se. It seemed more like his/her comments were directed at special needs parents in general. While I felt the essay was about compassion for parents… a plea for understanding and grace… he/she seemed to feel like I was a) attacking teachers, b) excusing bad behavior, or c) all of the above.
I will admit this one commenter hurt me deeply. So much so, I am a little gun-shy even now to post this. See, I was perplexed. I didn’t understand how he/she got that from my essay. I reread it several times, trying to ‘hear’ what this commenter heard. I had a hard time even stretching it to where he/she went. And apparently, other commenters felt the same way as myself, not understanding why this teacher reacted so negatively and with such outward anger and hostility. The essay was an appeal for gentleness and compassion. Not receiving that was really a blow. It took me a while to process the whole event, to consider my response and decide what it all meant.
But I believe this teacher’s reaction actually proved my point. And not in the way you might be thinking.
Compassion is not easy.
Compassion is not simple.
Compassion is not only for the good people. The likable people. The easy people.
Compassion is also for… and possibly most needed by… the angry people. The difficult people. The ones who are not nice, or amiable, or positive. Compassion is needed by the people who don’t ask for it, may not appreciate it, and may not return kindness with kindness.
Compassion is the deeper understanding that all humans suffer. We all have pain. In the practice of compassion, we need to take ourselves out of the equation. It is not about me anymore. It is not about my hurts, my sadness, my pain. To practice compassion is to set those aside, and be open and accept that others' pain is real and true, and valid for them. This is not an excuse for bad behavior. Bad behavior must be confronted. Rather, having compassion allows you to deal more effectively, more calmly, and with more grace, the misbehavior of others.
It is SO MUCH easier said than done. When I read the teacher’s comments, I did want to criticize. I did want to lash out. I questioned whether I should keep the post up, whether I could emotionally handle the negative comments. The teacher’s negative comments… this one person… weighed heavy on my heart. The instinct, then, is to react with my pain. It is so hard not to go there… to go to the Angry Place.
However when I took the time to read between the lines, to look past the words, I saw someone who must be in pain. I see in her words anger, defensiveness and hostility. To lash out, to spend the time and energy to post angry words, words not meant to build bridges or foster understand… that must come from a heart in pain. Just like some parents, maybe even myself someday. Disappointment, powerlessness, and a lack of peace? I do not know. But I do believe it wasn’t from my simple little essay on being gentle with parents.
So I have compassion for this teacher, for what she suffers. I hope that she finds a way to have peace and compassion for all the people in her life, even the people who upset her, anger her, come at her with fangs and claws. Whether she deserves it or not doesn't matter. Indeed, I wish others (parents and professionals alike) to be able to find peace through compassion. To do so is a gift to others, and a gift to oneself.
I will admit this one commenter hurt me deeply. So much so, I am a little gun-shy even now to post this. See, I was perplexed. I didn’t understand how he/she got that from my essay. I reread it several times, trying to ‘hear’ what this commenter heard. I had a hard time even stretching it to where he/she went. And apparently, other commenters felt the same way as myself, not understanding why this teacher reacted so negatively and with such outward anger and hostility. The essay was an appeal for gentleness and compassion. Not receiving that was really a blow. It took me a while to process the whole event, to consider my response and decide what it all meant.
But I believe this teacher’s reaction actually proved my point. And not in the way you might be thinking.
Compassion is not easy.
Compassion is not simple.
Compassion is not only for the good people. The likable people. The easy people.
Compassion is also for… and possibly most needed by… the angry people. The difficult people. The ones who are not nice, or amiable, or positive. Compassion is needed by the people who don’t ask for it, may not appreciate it, and may not return kindness with kindness.
Compassion is the deeper understanding that all humans suffer. We all have pain. In the practice of compassion, we need to take ourselves out of the equation. It is not about me anymore. It is not about my hurts, my sadness, my pain. To practice compassion is to set those aside, and be open and accept that others' pain is real and true, and valid for them. This is not an excuse for bad behavior. Bad behavior must be confronted. Rather, having compassion allows you to deal more effectively, more calmly, and with more grace, the misbehavior of others.
It is SO MUCH easier said than done. When I read the teacher’s comments, I did want to criticize. I did want to lash out. I questioned whether I should keep the post up, whether I could emotionally handle the negative comments. The teacher’s negative comments… this one person… weighed heavy on my heart. The instinct, then, is to react with my pain. It is so hard not to go there… to go to the Angry Place.
However when I took the time to read between the lines, to look past the words, I saw someone who must be in pain. I see in her words anger, defensiveness and hostility. To lash out, to spend the time and energy to post angry words, words not meant to build bridges or foster understand… that must come from a heart in pain. Just like some parents, maybe even myself someday. Disappointment, powerlessness, and a lack of peace? I do not know. But I do believe it wasn’t from my simple little essay on being gentle with parents.
So I have compassion for this teacher, for what she suffers. I hope that she finds a way to have peace and compassion for all the people in her life, even the people who upset her, anger her, come at her with fangs and claws. Whether she deserves it or not doesn't matter. Indeed, I wish others (parents and professionals alike) to be able to find peace through compassion. To do so is a gift to others, and a gift to oneself.
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” -- the Dalai Lama
Thursday, September 2, 2010
The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism
WOW.
About one week ago (at the urging of a friend), I decided to submit my Open Letter to All Professionals to The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism. I have followed this site for a while, and have a lot of respect for the people who run it. I had heard from my (RL and Internet) friends that it was a good piece. I thought I might be worth a shot. All they could say was "no thank you".
And I am honored to say they accepted my submission!!! They posted the essay two days ago, and you can't know the thrill I got knowing it was out there. Outside of this little blog and my little cloister of friends and followers. What I wasn't prepared for was the overwhelming response I've had to the letter. Apparently, it struck a chord with parents and teachers alike. I have had tons of lovely emails from people who have really responded to it.
I am deeply honored and thankful to everyone who has passed on words of appreciation and friendship. It means the world to me.
And for those new visitors to the Crack, welcome.
About one week ago (at the urging of a friend), I decided to submit my Open Letter to All Professionals to The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism. I have followed this site for a while, and have a lot of respect for the people who run it. I had heard from my (RL and Internet) friends that it was a good piece. I thought I might be worth a shot. All they could say was "no thank you".
And I am honored to say they accepted my submission!!! They posted the essay two days ago, and you can't know the thrill I got knowing it was out there. Outside of this little blog and my little cloister of friends and followers. What I wasn't prepared for was the overwhelming response I've had to the letter. Apparently, it struck a chord with parents and teachers alike. I have had tons of lovely emails from people who have really responded to it.
I am deeply honored and thankful to everyone who has passed on words of appreciation and friendship. It means the world to me.
And for those new visitors to the Crack, welcome.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
My Guest Post on SmartPlay!
Ok, funny story...
A few weeks ago I posted a little video clip of J-man playing the game Zingo!
Apparently, I caught the eye of the makers of Zingo and received an email from them the next day. The next day! How did they do that?? So anyway, when I opened my email and saw the email from ThinkFun (the makers of Zingo), I must confess: I thought I might be getting some kind of cease-and-desist order or something. But no! Apparently they found my little blog (how did they DO that?!) and asked if I would be interested in writing a piece about my feelings about play and games for kiddos with special needs.
They liked me! They really really liked me!
Incredibly flattered (and by no means an expert), I said I would do what I could.
And so, here it is: All Learners Can Shine Through Play
I'd love to have you check it out and give me some feedback!
A few weeks ago I posted a little video clip of J-man playing the game Zingo!
Apparently, I caught the eye of the makers of Zingo and received an email from them the next day. The next day! How did they do that?? So anyway, when I opened my email and saw the email from ThinkFun (the makers of Zingo), I must confess: I thought I might be getting some kind of cease-and-desist order or something. But no! Apparently they found my little blog (how did they DO that?!) and asked if I would be interested in writing a piece about my feelings about play and games for kiddos with special needs.
They liked me! They really really liked me!
Incredibly flattered (and by no means an expert), I said I would do what I could.
And so, here it is: All Learners Can Shine Through Play
I'd love to have you check it out and give me some feedback!
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