Saturday, June 12, 2010

Bottling Joy

I wish I could bottle peace. And kindness. And the delicious good experiences of life.

(Some might call that wine.)

I've had one of the hardest weeks of my work life in a long long time. Without going into details, it was fraught with anger, resentment, sadness, feelings of loss and feeling lost. It has been a week in which I question my desire to stay.  It has made me despair over my value.. or lack thereof.. to the people I work for.  It has been rock hard and painful, and I am plum wrung out.

I came home tonight to J-man in what seemed to be a caffeine-induced frenzy of activity.   I was climbed on, pulled down, over, under and around as he assaulted me with love and joy at my very presence.  For an hour he pulled me from this to that, demanding my attention, my giggles and my laughter.

And at bedtime, I rocked him as I have since he was a newborn. He nestled his head under my chin and relaxed into utter submission in my arms.  The room was pitch dark, with just the sound of our breathing and the creaking of that rocking chair to break the silence.  I absorbed the moment, trying to take it in whole.  I wished to bottle it, to keep it.  Ahh, these moments are just slipping by me faster than I can savor them...

Might I suggest you hold your babies tightly and drink in their deliciousness?

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