Thursday, December 2, 2010

Persistence

AutismLearningFelt

I thought I might do another SNBH.  This Week's Theme:  What is a recent accomplishment that your child has made?

Anyone who follows me regularly knows the strides J-man has made recently.  I view most of his daily strides as major accomplishments, but I decided yesterday's story was worthy of this topic.
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The "guys"
I was parked at the kitchen table working on one of my least-favorite chores:  paying the bills. (Anyone with me on this one?)  J-man comes running into the kitchen and grabs my hand, pulling me out of the chair and into the dining area.  In his hand he was clutching three of his "guys":  Superman, Batman, and the Joker.(He loves his guys)  He looked me directly in the eye with this urgent need in his expression. 

J-man said to me, " aAAh iIm!"

aAAh iIm??  What the....?

"What honey?" I said.

" aAAh iIm!"  he said again, insistently.  Clutching his 'guys' in his hands, J-man rubbed his fists up and down on his chest, trying to sign what he was saying.  "aAAh iIm!"

I imitated his sounds and sign, showing him I was hearing him.

"I'm sorry hon. I don't understand" I said regretfully.

But he persisted trying to get me to understand.  He didn't quit.  He signed.  He forced his words out, even though his mommy didn't understand.  He hung in there.

I watched him, as frustrated as he was, looking for any clue that might help me figure out what he was trying to tell me.  I watched his signing, listened to his words, and looked at his hands clutching his 'guys'. And suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks...

"Bath time?!?!"  I asked excitedly.  He glowed with relief and excitement, "aAAh iIm!" with the sign for bath.

Persistence.

Some time ago J-man went through a spurt of avoiding bath time.  He just wanted to play, and bath was just a rude interruption.  At that time, we decided to try and make a game of it by putting his "guys" (and he has a lot of guys) on different stairs going up to the second level bathroom, and then had him gathering them as he went up the stairs to the throw his 'guys' into the 'pool' (bath) to go swimming.  And he took to this like a fish to water (hehehe) and it has become a routine ever since.  His guys get a bath.  His guys go swimming, get washed and dried.  He has once again embraced bath time.

How fundamentally frustrating it must be for J-man.  To have these thoughts, these ideas, these words, stuck in his mind and in his throat.  To know that communication is important, to know that he can't do it well, and to know that we adults may... no, probably... miss what he is trying to say.  How does a three year old cope with that?

And yet, he persisted.  He persisted in spite of the fact I didn't understand, in spite of his best efforts, in spite of how very hard it was for him.  Yes, this time his Mommy figured it out, but in his world that is probably the exception more than the rule.  And still...

He persisted.

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14 comments:

Life as the mother of 4 said...

That's great! My son would have left immediately. (blog hop)

a49erfangirl said...

That is fantastic that kept up and didn't give up trying to tell you even though he was frustrated. Good thing you figured it out to. And it's awesome he said Bath time on his own with out a cue or anything. Thanks for joining in the blog hop.

dotcomkari said...

That is just plain awesome he kept trying and did not give up! My son would have started screaming or having a melt down after two tries! :) And AWESOME for mommy to find out what he wanted! :)
NOw following you through the blog hop! :)

JoyMama said...

That's a great-big accomplishment -- huge for J-man with the persistence, but good on his mama for sticking with him too and figuring it out! (blog hop)

Jen said...

Oh I know how much of a big deal this is and I am so happy for you. My son is at a similar stage and I get very upset when I can't understand what he is trying to say and so relieved when I get it. The persistance is great. Visiting from SN bloghop. Jen

http://www.thekingandeye.com/p/special-needs-blog-hop.html

sonidoinquieto said...

They never cease to amaze....never...Bravo J-Man

Chris P-M said...

Just stopping by from the blog hop. I LOVE the concept behind the title of your blog :).

I have a kiddo on the spectrum too, and definitely know that feeling of gratitude for my kiddo being persistent (despite my inability to understand him sometimes) Sending a high-five to you and your kiddo!

Dani G said...

Even though my bird is verbal, there are plenty of times I can see that there's something she wants to say that she just can't get out. It's so frustrating for her (and for me). There's so much in there. We (and they) just have to be patient.

Here's my post: http://www.imjustthatway.com/2010/12/special-needs-blog-hop-accomplishments.html

transplantedx3 said...

aw, that's awesome! hi! I just found out about the Special Needs Blog Hop - I am excited to become a part of it! Peace & Hugs~Amy

Varda said...

That is just so moving. Thank you for sharing that with us. Stopping by on a reciprocal visit from the SN hop.

I know I have been by before, and can't remember if I've ever told you that I'm a big Leonard Cohen fan, and absolutely love the song you took your blog title inspiration from. (I was at his historic NYC Beacon Theater show in February '09)

Lynn said...

He persisted without melting down...so awesome. How patient would we be if we were in their shoes? I can't imagine how frustrating it must be. So huge that he stuck in there...you too!

Lynn said...

He persisted without melting down...so awesome. How patient would we be if we were in their shoes? I can't imagine how frustrating it must be. So huge that he stuck in there...you too!

Tammy said...

That's awesome! My son would have gotten really frustrated with me. Hi from the Special Needs Blog Hop.

JK said...

Bravo to your both!

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