Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I might be NUTS


Well, we finally got the EEG results!!!

NORMAL!

Hooray NORMAL! We love normal!!! Hooray hooray hooray!!!

Ok, now here is the nutty part. There is this tiny little illogical part of me that was disappointed that they didn't find something. Of course, I DON'T! But I think I am starting to crave answers to the question of "Why?". Why is Jonathan having these struggles? Why is it that he has such trouble with language... he is so smart in so many ways! And of course, there is the issue of guilt. Did I do something wrong during pregnancy to screw up his brain? Did we pass on crappy genes? Did I not stimulate him enough as a baby? Or now? What is going on here?

I have enough education to understand that this is not a simple cause-and-effect situation, and that we really don't know what is going on... and that guilt and blame are not important. However, not knowing WHY is hard.

As Robert R-H would suggest, is the monster-- hidden in the dark -- scarier than the monster revealed? I suppose it would depend on the monster.

Pia

1 comment:

Tahna said...

Totally know where you're coming from my friend.

Totally.

At least you know some things it's NOT, but that's not the same as knowing what it is.

I have a really hard time with that. I wish there were just some little blood test or something that told us exactly what we were dealing with and why.

I know for some it works out that way, but it seems like for a lot of us, the only answers we get are educated guesses or even not so educated guesses.

Personally, I already know it's there so I want to know what the heck it is so that I know how to best attack it but sometimes it's just not possible

Hopefully in 20 yrs or so, they'll be much better at knowing what kind of "monster" is lurking and knowing it earlier with a much greater degree of accuracy, but that's a little late for our kids, kwim?

It' s frustrating!

Haha, and I think I just wrote a whole blog post on your blog! Sorry about that!

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