Tuesday, August 10, 2010

An Open Letter to Anyone Who Might Visit My Home

Dear YOU,

Yes, you!  Be you family, friend, or complete stranger.  Be you my mom, my mother-in-law, a friend from work, neighbor, friend of a friend of my hubby, school district representative, pizza delivery person (we love you), Mormon doorknocker, or UPS guy. Whoever you are, whatever you do, consider this my public notice...

I give up. I cannot... for the very life of me... keep a clean house.  I just can't. 

I have tried, but it is not in my nature.  I have been messy since I was in diapers (my mother would no doubt testify to that).  I reformed pretty well once I became an adult, managing to do a halfway decent job.  It was never perfect, but it was passable.  The main germ areas (kitchen and bathrooms) were pretty decent.  After hubby and I got together, the challenge increased.  You see, my hubby is a slob (Sorry hunny, but it is true).  And we moved from an apartment (smaller space) to a house (bigger space).  Then we had J-man.

And as you know, he takes some time.  My time.

And so now, even when I DO have the time to clean my house, I just don't want to.  I just don't.

So I am giving up.  When I have downtime, I am going to now spend it doing only essential chores (laundry, dishes).  I will write on my blog.  I will consider starting an exercise program that I need desperately.  I will cook, which I love to do.  

So when you come to my house, expect the following:

*  There will be toys on the floor.
*  There will be crumbs on the counter.  And the floor.  And probably on the furniture.  Same with dust.
*  There will probably be dishes in the sink, and maybe on the counter.
*  There will be laundry in baskets, probably clean and folded.  But there.
*  The bathroom may or may not be clean.  It is a roll of the dice.  Pee before you arrive if that bugs you.
*  My hubby's Mancave is his responsibility, and probably a pit stain.  Deal with it.

Now, I am always up for help, so consider any and all offers for housecleaning assistance on the table.  I will take you up on them.  I am no longer proud. 

Consider yourself warned.


Lynn said...

I so hear you! We have a home ABA program w four different therapists in and out and I swear I've never known them to use our bathroom. I guess they learned to "pee before you come" the hard way. My husband is such a pig and his mother is a total Martha Stewart like perfectionist...how did he come out of that household without knowing to flush the toilet after each use?

pixiemama said...

Were you writing this about me? My house? My decision (I made mine a while back, but my older kids are older than your J-man)?

Let it go, I say!


Anonymous said...

You go, girl! It would be bad enough if I only had hubby and Curt, but then we got C1 full-time! At 13. And, at 15, still a slob.

I tell everyone that I live with three "men" and Curt is the cleanest of the bunch.

I have a housekeeper. I work full-time. I have no apologies. She only comes once every two weeks.

Check out my comments, cause I got rambly on you. Could not stop Ha.

Mommy, I'm Home said...

Welcome to the club. I gave up long ago on trying to keep the house clean on a regular basis.

Maureen D. said...

I am a huge slob too! I have always had trouble and have many stories of college roommate having nervous breakdowns about it. (They loved me...really!) But it's funny what Lynn said...we had an in-home ABA therapist who was really cool with our mess. She said "you would be surprised at how messy people are...sometimes there will be dirty diapers on the floor at my other clients." I was SO grossed out for her....until I had my second. Nuff said.


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